Long story short and involves growing up in a traumatic household enviroment full of alcohol/drug addicted parents, death, bullying, emotional abuse and so on. Everything to really harm a young child that doesn't have anywhere else to go.
After many years of self help – by myself – I turned to therapy and medication 2 years ago.
It has truly changed my life alongside reading books on CPTSD, letting go by david hawkins, untethered soul etc, getting away from toxic enviroments/narcissistic alcoholic family/bullies etc.
So much growth and I'm really just getting started.
I notice like any time I'm offered to speak in a public place or at the gym, in a group, I'm ready for anything I say to be diminished, put down, laughed at like I'm not worthy. It's so sad that my child version of me had to go through that with no adult figure helping but actually they are the ones putting you down. How sad!
But we're getting strong now so F it. People talk to me now and seem interested so F the past people, I'm just a bit timid.
I come to ask this subreddit if you have any advice on feeling like when you're speaking you have worth so strong and what you say matters, to be loud and strong with your voice but naturally, I can be very soft spoken after turning mute due to all this past.