My (soon to be ex) husband left me almost a year ago for another woman. we had been together for 7 years and married for 16 months when he left. I am disabled and have no use of my left hand or foot since birth and require quite a lot of care. i am unable to work because of my disabilities. In November last year, he left me and said he wasn’t coming back. he left me for a girl almost 10 years younger than me. he tells me there was no overlap in our marriage and his affair, but i know there was. he would tell me he was staying with a friend. i knew he wasn’t.
in november i had a weekend away with some friends and when i came home, i could smell a different perfume in my bed. one that i wouldn’t wear. i also found a strand of hair that was a different colour to mine. yet he swears nothing happened.
he left me just before christmas, and the weekend before his birthday. i bought him presents which he refused to take and i had also booked a suprised trip for him which he was no longer interested in. i had also already started buying his christmas presents too.
In January, i was scheduled to have surgery on my foot, he knew this surgery would leave me unable to walk and require constant care while i recovered, yet he still left me and told me “it was my family’s responsibility” to check in and help me after the surgery.
we were having some fertility issues, i wanted children and so did he. we had both been tested and they confirmed the issues were on his side. that’s why it was an extra kick in the face to me when he came to pick up the rest of his belongings and he had a baby seat in the back of his car. the girl he left me for was a single mother with an 8 month old baby.
the same day i found out my dad has stage 4 cancer, i received divorce papers in the mail followed by a text asking me to sign them. ever since then, all he posts about on facebook is how great his life is with her and how “their daughter” calls him daddy and how much he loves being a father.
he messaged me recently asking when i am changing my name on facebook as it is still his last name instead of my maiden name. i told him once the divorce has processed as until then, that is legally my name. he told me i should change it as it makes his new girlfriend uncomfortable. i told him respectfully, that’s not my problem and i will not be changing it to my maiden name until the divorce has finalised and i don’t care if it makes his new girlfriend uncomfortable.
Do i change it or is it better to keep it until legal proceedings have ended?