I’ve (31M) been dating this woman (30F) for almost six months. I knew within the first few dates that I wanted a relationship. Things felt amazing early on, so I brought up the “define the relationship” talk around 6–7 weeks in.
She told me she wasn’t ready for anything serious—she was still healing from a painful breakup after a 7-year relationship, interviewing for jobs in other states, and didn’t feel like she had room for commitment. I was crushed, but she wanted to keep seeing me, and I agreed.
Over time we grew closer. She slowly became more emotionally open and affectionate, and recently told me she could see things progressing with me—but still doesn’t want to “label” it yet or feel pressured to commit. She says six months isn’t that long and wants to let things evolve naturally.
To me, six months is a long time to be in a no-labels situation, especially when I’ve been ready for months. We have great chemistry, share values, similar lifestyles, and talk about future plans together. She even withdrew from the out-of-state job and renewed her lease here, which I took as a good sign.
For context, she’s still figuring out her career and says she’s “not sure what she wants” in general. Meanwhile, my roots are here—I run a local business, just bought a house, and I’m looking for a serious partner to build a life with.
At about three months in, I opened up to her about a very personal issue that has held me back from relationships before—something I’ve never shared with anyone. I was terrified to tell her, but she responded with compassion instead of rejection, which made me love her even more.
Lately, I’ve been more open about what I want: I told her I’d like her to meet my family soon, and she’s open to that. Our connection feels deeper than ever—physically and emotionally—it honestly feels like a relationship in every way but the label.
Still, I can’t shake the anxiety of not knowing if or when she’ll want to make it official. She’s said she just wants to “see where it goes,” but I’m worried about investing more time and emotion without clarity.
Is six months too long to be in a no-labels relationship, or am I just being impatient because of my lack of dating experience (my last and only relationship was 9 years ago and lasted 6 months)?
⸻
TL;DR:
I (31M) have been dating a woman (30F) for 6 months. She’s amazing, emotionally opening up, and we’ve grown really close—but she doesn’t want to define the relationship yet. I’m falling in love and ready for commitment, while she says she’s not sure what she wants and wants things to “progress naturally.” We have great chemistry and shared values, but I’m starting to feel anxious and unsure how long to wait before needing clarity.