It’s not about my girlfriend at all—she’s amazing—but I just can’t seem to do it.
I gave head to an ex a long time ago, and it was really traumatizing for me. Since then, I haven’t been able to do it again. I recently tried with my girlfriend and had to stop because I got so overwhelmed.
At first I thought maybe it was a sensory thing (I’m sensitive about stuff like hair), so we tried again after she shaved, but the same thing happened. My hands shake, I freeze up, and I just can’t push through—even though the idea of giving head turns me on a lot.
I feel really guilty, because she goes down on me all the time and I can’t reciprocate. I’m scared it’ll turn into an insecurity for her or make me feel like I’m “bad at sex” and she’ll leave me.
How do I get past this?