If you’ve ever ruined a good friendship you had with someone, what was the reason behind it?
October 12, 2025
If you’ve ever ruined a good friendship you had with someone, what was the reason behind it?
29 comments
Not reciprocating romantic feelings that were admitted to me after years of friendship. Opposite sex friendships are weird sometimes
I was told to “GO AWAY”
So I guess that I will never know, however that was a very long time ago and I’m all good now!
I simply didn’t know how to deal with my friend being passive in the face of her own depression. I pushed her so hard to get better. When things really got bad, I couldn’t be there. I acted very, very badly.
I love him and I married someone else and he was in my wedding.
I have had a lot of people ruin our friendship. I hold grudges, don’t talk deeply with people and take a lot of shit then I’m just done. I could have opened up more and tried to work it out but at the end they still chose to be horrible and it would be me still taking shit.
She didn’t wish me happy birthday on purpose
My girlfriend fell in with the wrong artsy crowd during her divorce and started experimenting with meth. I told her to cut that shit out or she would lose her kids.
Garcharmelo, the worst mistake.
I found out one of my judies was having an affair.
Not only that, we were friends with her man and he had just purchased them (he, her, her kids) a house and my friend ended up inviting the other than over to that house when her man was at work.
….the children were home.
The sudden realization that im not sure ive ever had a good friendship? Dont get me wrong, ive had good times with people i called my friends at the time, but they were not good friends to me..yikes
Edit: i think the friendship i considered the best, i ended it over her taking of course her friends (my boyfriend at the time) side after i left abruptly and just ended the what 2 day? relationship we had after he coerced me into sex i felt obligated to say yes to on top of just immediately getting on his phone to speak with anither woman about taking her to victorias secret…so disrespectful and i felt so used so i left his house right after he said hes texting with a girl about victorias secret and blocked him. But yet my friend was upset with me.
She was awful with boundaries anyways as well and going through a divorce because she cheated so i guess, i should have really seen that coming that her friend would be the same way?
My best friend of 20+ years started dating a man who was incredibly manipulative and controlling. He changed everything about her. I tried my best to be supportive and there for her, but he ultimately won. They have since moved 10 hours away to a secluded area. I dream about her at least once a week. I miss her so much.
She truly needed psychiatric help and was pouring all of these behaviors onto me and refusing to talk to anyone about it. It got so toxic that she started threatening suicide and I had to blow the horn, tell the rest of her support system, and walk away.
It was the right thing and they all made sure I felt like an asshold about it.
Religion, I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization
Continued a friendship with someone who tried fucking my fiance in our own home 🙃
They told me that it was my fault for being sexually assaulted and didn’t like when I called them out!
Avoidant or anxious avoidant attachment pattern on my part. Coupled with she triggered memories of my SA, I anxiously avoided opening a full message from her containing the trigger. She felt ghosted and hurt, understandably so. I was in a bad place at the time, fresh off an SA and unable to admit my side of the fault. And a lot of her communication became really unlike her or her usual personality, so I spiralled (not her fault) and stopped communicating altogether. We haven’t spoken since, it’s been about 2 years.
Political differences/her indifference.
Her boyfriend sucked!!!
He didn’t care about the undoing of roe v Wade. I to this day want to unblock him and say I told you so
My friend was in love with a guy she was casually seeing, he got a girlfriend in secret and she found out she was still in love with him and started dating another guy after 2 weeks of dating she told me she was getting married I gently asked her if she was sure I knew she was still in love with the other guy and please can she think it through and make sure it’s right for her. She told me I was a terrible friend and never spoke to me again.
My best friend married my ex-fiance 6 months after we broke up. So, she ruined the friendship. They’re divorced now and he lied, cheated, made her look like an absolute fool, broke her heart and got her in a lot of debt. She actually did me a huge favor! I guess she got what she deserved…… Still wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire.
My former best friend of fifteen years was the first person to know of my pregnancy and her reaction was so bust out laughing
I stood up for myself and stopped being their “yes man”. They were a woman with internalized misogyny and I called them out on it and they didn’t like that.
My best friend of 35 years texted me on Mother’s Day claiming “she found out my secret and she never wants to talk to me again”. Thing was, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what she meant. I couldn’t ask her, as I was blocked. I had not lived in the same city for over 15 years. I was baffled and hurt. I wracked my brain. What did I do? I literally could think of nothing.
I blocked her. This time, I realized it was a pattern with her. Very few years, she finds a way to cause havoc in my life. I didn’t notice it all those other times. All that time being friends, since first grade, and you can’t tell me what I supposedly did that upset you. Give me a chance to defend myself, or apologize if I need to. Instead, I live now with the wonder of what she heard that she did what she did..
I cut her off and blocked her on everything. It’s not worth it
Yes. Realized that it seemed like she couldn’t be happy for my milestones if she wasn’t in the same place. I traveled for the first time on a plane to her law school graduation at the same time I was engaged and it seemed like she wasn’t willing to be happy for me during that weekend even though I was ecstatic for her that entire weekend. I truly didn’t bring up the wedding AT ALL on purpose because I wanted it all to be about her law school graduation (which I just feel like it was the way bigger accomplishment). I cut off her parents when they asked about it. Then she just didn’t speak to me again once I returned home. She moved back to the area and didn’t tell me. She lived only 6 mins away and didn’t tell me. I knew we were done.
She was getting married and kept asking me if I was coming to the wedding after I rsvpd NO (because I was moving for a job at the same time) and I think it clicked to her then we weren’t friends anymore.
I’m in the process of trying not to ruin my oldest and most treasured friendship. She let me down last year when I really needed her and I’m having a super tough time coming back from it. We’ve barely spoken in a year but we’re both trying hard to keep the lines of communication open. I hate being out of sorts with her, and she’s so incredibly sorry she hurt me.
She keeps reaching out, and I keep telling her I love her and I miss her and I’m trying to figure myself out. I have faith we will work through it, but it’s tapped something super painful in me I’m still trying to fully understand in therapy.
Was meant to be my best friend and wasn’t there for me when my aunt and grandfather were dying, didn’t ask about attending the funeral or anything. That was the catalyst for me realizing we were no more than surface level friends because she was so self-obsessed. I immaturely (mid-grieving) ghosted her, which I regret it to this day – but I don’t regret cutting her out just the way I did it
I’m the kind of person who would literally take my shirt back off for you. If you need an errand or favor done, I’ll do it. Birthdays and gatherings? I’m there, text and phone me and I’ll just show up. Bring gifts, help, whatever. However when the time comes I would hope the same friends would do the same for me. Alas it did not happen. I have lost friends when I expressed feeling upset when they did not want to show up for even my birthday and gave excuses and one did they made a scene at the restaurant. That ended two friendships.
My friend ruined a friendship with me.
We were travelling in Europe together. She was from America; I was from Australia. We had been friends since elementary school.
She didn’t want to drive because it was on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. I had lots of experience driving on that side, so I was the driver by default.
I had rented the car (she paid half), insured it, picked her up at the airport, and did all the driving for 11 days. If I were to have an accident, I would have assumed full liability for covering the deductible because it was my accident. I also had to pay the two fines that I got – one for driving in a bus lane (poorly marked) and one for letting the parking meter run out while waiting for her. She said it was my fine. Sigh.
All I asked was for her to hold the phone and help me navigate according to Google Maps. She is a terrible navigator, so I told her exactly how to help me, i.e. please read the top left corner and tell me if a left or right turn is coming up and how long until the turn.
She couldn’t do that.
So every time it was critical that I not get the turn wrong, I either had to pull over and look at it myself, or look at it while driving, which is dangerous, especially on unknown roads.
Around Day 8, I had a narrow 1.5-hour drive to a place that she wanted to go to, but I didn’t really care about. Nevertheless, we were taking turns picking the tourist attractions, and this was her turn.
When we got to the parking lot, I reversed into the spot. I asked her to get out and show me with her hands how far I was from the cliff edge. She refused to do it because she was worried that I would hit her. I wasn’t going to hit her. I finally had to get out myself and check my distance before backing up all the way.
She thought that that would be a good time to tell me that nobody ever backed into a spot in America and that the only people who did that were “assh0les.” I said, “Well, look around you. This is not America, and fully 2/3 of the other cars in this lot are backed in.” Anyway, what she said was ridiculous. I know full well that drivers back in sometimes in America. An astonishing lie.
It was interesting that when we finished our tour and got back out to the car, there was a stalled bus in the parking lot that delayed our leaving for 25 minutes. They finally got it to move forward a little, and I was able to squeeze out by virtue of the fact that I had backed in before. If I hadn’t backed in, I would never have been able to get out. I was so tempted to say something, but bit my lip in the interest of three more peaceful days to our trip.
A very long and satisfying friendship is now very occasional and unsatisfying. Good riddance, but it’s such a shame.
29 comments
Not reciprocating romantic feelings that were admitted to me after years of friendship. Opposite sex friendships are weird sometimes
I was told to “GO AWAY”
So I guess that I will never know, however that was a very long time ago and I’m all good now!
I simply didn’t know how to deal with my friend being passive in the face of her own depression. I pushed her so hard to get better. When things really got bad, I couldn’t be there. I acted very, very badly.
I love him and I married someone else and he was in my wedding.
I have had a lot of people ruin our friendship. I hold grudges, don’t talk deeply with people and take a lot of shit then I’m just done. I could have opened up more and tried to work it out but at the end they still chose to be horrible and it would be me still taking shit.
She didn’t wish me happy birthday on purpose
My girlfriend fell in with the wrong artsy crowd during her divorce and started experimenting with meth. I told her to cut that shit out or she would lose her kids.
Garcharmelo, the worst mistake.
I found out one of my judies was having an affair.
Not only that, we were friends with her man and he had just purchased them (he, her, her kids) a house and my friend ended up inviting the other than over to that house when her man was at work.
….the children were home.
The sudden realization that im not sure ive ever had a good friendship? Dont get me wrong, ive had good times with people i called my friends at the time, but they were not good friends to me..yikes
Edit: i think the friendship i considered the best, i ended it over her taking of course her friends (my boyfriend at the time) side after i left abruptly and just ended the what 2 day? relationship we had after he coerced me into sex i felt obligated to say yes to on top of just immediately getting on his phone to speak with anither woman about taking her to victorias secret…so disrespectful and i felt so used so i left his house right after he said hes texting with a girl about victorias secret and blocked him. But yet my friend was upset with me.
She was awful with boundaries anyways as well and going through a divorce because she cheated so i guess, i should have really seen that coming that her friend would be the same way?
My best friend of 20+ years started dating a man who was incredibly manipulative and controlling. He changed everything about her. I tried my best to be supportive and there for her, but he ultimately won. They have since moved 10 hours away to a secluded area. I dream about her at least once a week. I miss her so much.
She truly needed psychiatric help and was pouring all of these behaviors onto me and refusing to talk to anyone about it. It got so toxic that she started threatening suicide and I had to blow the horn, tell the rest of her support system, and walk away.
It was the right thing and they all made sure I felt like an asshold about it.
Religion, I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses organization
Continued a friendship with someone who tried fucking my fiance in our own home 🙃
They told me that it was my fault for being sexually assaulted and didn’t like when I called them out!
Avoidant or anxious avoidant attachment pattern on my part. Coupled with she triggered memories of my SA, I anxiously avoided opening a full message from her containing the trigger. She felt ghosted and hurt, understandably so. I was in a bad place at the time, fresh off an SA and unable to admit my side of the fault. And a lot of her communication became really unlike her or her usual personality, so I spiralled (not her fault) and stopped communicating altogether. We haven’t spoken since, it’s been about 2 years.
Political differences/her indifference.
Her boyfriend sucked!!!
He didn’t care about the undoing of roe v Wade. I to this day want to unblock him and say I told you so
My friend was in love with a guy she was casually seeing, he got a girlfriend in secret and she found out she was still in love with him and started dating another guy after 2 weeks of dating she told me she was getting married I gently asked her if she was sure I knew she was still in love with the other guy and please can she think it through and make sure it’s right for her. She told me I was a terrible friend and never spoke to me again.
My best friend married my ex-fiance 6 months after we broke up. So, she ruined the friendship. They’re divorced now and he lied, cheated, made her look like an absolute fool, broke her heart and got her in a lot of debt. She actually did me a huge favor! I guess she got what she deserved…… Still wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire.
My former best friend of fifteen years was the first person to know of my pregnancy and her reaction was so bust out laughing
I stood up for myself and stopped being their “yes man”. They were a woman with internalized misogyny and I called them out on it and they didn’t like that.
My best friend of 35 years texted me on Mother’s Day claiming “she found out my secret and she never wants to talk to me again”. Thing was, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what she meant. I couldn’t ask her, as I was blocked. I had not lived in the same city for over 15 years. I was baffled and hurt. I wracked my brain. What did I do? I literally could think of nothing.
I blocked her. This time, I realized it was a pattern with her. Very few years, she finds a way to cause havoc in my life. I didn’t notice it all those other times. All that time being friends, since first grade, and you can’t tell me what I supposedly did that upset you. Give me a chance to defend myself, or apologize if I need to. Instead, I live now with the wonder of what she heard that she did what she did..
I cut her off and blocked her on everything. It’s not worth it
Yes. Realized that it seemed like she couldn’t be happy for my milestones if she wasn’t in the same place. I traveled for the first time on a plane to her law school graduation at the same time I was engaged and it seemed like she wasn’t willing to be happy for me during that weekend even though I was ecstatic for her that entire weekend. I truly didn’t bring up the wedding AT ALL on purpose because I wanted it all to be about her law school graduation (which I just feel like it was the way bigger accomplishment). I cut off her parents when they asked about it. Then she just didn’t speak to me again once I returned home. She moved back to the area and didn’t tell me. She lived only 6 mins away and didn’t tell me. I knew we were done.
She was getting married and kept asking me if I was coming to the wedding after I rsvpd NO (because I was moving for a job at the same time) and I think it clicked to her then we weren’t friends anymore.
I’m in the process of trying not to ruin my oldest and most treasured friendship. She let me down last year when I really needed her and I’m having a super tough time coming back from it. We’ve barely spoken in a year but we’re both trying hard to keep the lines of communication open. I hate being out of sorts with her, and she’s so incredibly sorry she hurt me.
She keeps reaching out, and I keep telling her I love her and I miss her and I’m trying to figure myself out. I have faith we will work through it, but it’s tapped something super painful in me I’m still trying to fully understand in therapy.
Was meant to be my best friend and wasn’t there for me when my aunt and grandfather were dying, didn’t ask about attending the funeral or anything. That was the catalyst for me realizing we were no more than surface level friends because she was so self-obsessed. I immaturely (mid-grieving) ghosted her, which I regret it to this day – but I don’t regret cutting her out just the way I did it
I’m the kind of person who would literally take my shirt back off for you. If you need an errand or favor done, I’ll do it. Birthdays and gatherings? I’m there, text and phone me and I’ll just show up. Bring gifts, help, whatever. However when the time comes I would hope the same friends would do the same for me. Alas it did not happen. I have lost friends when I expressed feeling upset when they did not want to show up for even my birthday and gave excuses and one did they made a scene at the restaurant. That ended two friendships.
My friend ruined a friendship with me.
We were travelling in Europe together. She was from America; I was from Australia. We had been friends since elementary school.
She didn’t want to drive because it was on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. I had lots of experience driving on that side, so I was the driver by default.
I had rented the car (she paid half), insured it, picked her up at the airport, and did all the driving for 11 days. If I were to have an accident, I would have assumed full liability for covering the deductible because it was my accident. I also had to pay the two fines that I got – one for driving in a bus lane (poorly marked) and one for letting the parking meter run out while waiting for her. She said it was my fine. Sigh.
All I asked was for her to hold the phone and help me navigate according to Google Maps. She is a terrible navigator, so I told her exactly how to help me, i.e. please read the top left corner and tell me if a left or right turn is coming up and how long until the turn.
She couldn’t do that.
So every time it was critical that I not get the turn wrong, I either had to pull over and look at it myself, or look at it while driving, which is dangerous, especially on unknown roads.
Around Day 8, I had a narrow 1.5-hour drive to a place that she wanted to go to, but I didn’t really care about. Nevertheless, we were taking turns picking the tourist attractions, and this was her turn.
When we got to the parking lot, I reversed into the spot. I asked her to get out and show me with her hands how far I was from the cliff edge. She refused to do it because she was worried that I would hit her. I wasn’t going to hit her. I finally had to get out myself and check my distance before backing up all the way.
She thought that that would be a good time to tell me that nobody ever backed into a spot in America and that the only people who did that were “assh0les.” I said, “Well, look around you. This is not America, and fully 2/3 of the other cars in this lot are backed in.” Anyway, what she said was ridiculous. I know full well that drivers back in sometimes in America. An astonishing lie.
It was interesting that when we finished our tour and got back out to the car, there was a stalled bus in the parking lot that delayed our leaving for 25 minutes. They finally got it to move forward a little, and I was able to squeeze out by virtue of the fact that I had backed in before. If I hadn’t backed in, I would never have been able to get out. I was so tempted to say something, but bit my lip in the interest of three more peaceful days to our trip.
A very long and satisfying friendship is now very occasional and unsatisfying. Good riddance, but it’s such a shame.