My therapist asked me (40F) this question to journal about the other day, since I was so upset about and wouldn't let go of a recent breakup I had. I'd like to share some of my musings about it. Basically I wrote in quick bullet points: to feel more complete in life, more validated by my peers, to feel accepted for who I am, worthy. These are tbh unhealthy reasons to be in a relationship. It's ok to want a relationship, just not to gain external validation, or derive your worth from it. I think the "so badly" part needs to diminish, and I need to be content with being alone too. I'm working on it now!
I've taken a break from dating as well, so I can better rewire my brain differently around this, focus better on my grad school work and career for now, and just learn that I'm much more than a relationship: I've got various other identities/roles/hobbies in life that make me the unique person I am. And feel we all can resonate with this in our own way.
I wonder if this question is worth some of us on this sub asking ourselves as well. Just food for thought. I see some people bemoaning dating, or feeling so insecure about themselves after experiencing rejection, and maybe that's a sign to take a break and at least process/journal about this.