i’m incredibly insensitive in terms of physical pleasure from sex and have been since i was sexually active.
i think this is largely in part due to a mental issue as i was mistreated sexually throughout my childhood.
when i was a lot more inexperienced, my partners wouldn’t finish somewhat often and i would run out of stamina, or i would reach orgasm too soon. i think that was mainly due to anxiety, as it’s more of a mental thing for me, the physical stimulus of sex on my genitalia isn’t enough, i have to be really focused and turned on by what my partner is doing. this definitely isn’t uncommon for women, typically, my partners wouldn’t be noticeably upset or even THAT disappointed.
nowadays i don’t have a problem making my partners finish, it’s rare that i meet somebody who i can’t get to orgasm, of course it happens, some women have a very difficult time finishing just as i do.
but i don’t orgasm during sex often, and it noticeably causes distress for my partner. not just on one occasion but literally almost anybody who i sleep with asks me if it’s impossible to make me cum. and i do believe it hurts them, even after i reassured them that it’s normal and not their fault. i also give a lot of praise during sex, telling my partner that i enjoy it a lot, praising their body and features as well.
this situation has actually pushed partners away multiple times, and one woman even accused me of being a sociopath or something and wanted me to leave after she couldn’t make me cum. she said that was a clear sign of some sort of deep mental issue and that she wasn’t going to speak with me anymore.
we argued a bit over text after that and she blocked me but i refused to be goaded into explaining my trauma because this was our first time meeting. she also said some very insulting things to me. i have experienced other situations where i satisfied my partner and then they questioned me on why i wouldn’t finish, and later blocked me.
is it a red flag if a guy can’t finish from sex?
i mean it’s not every time i have sex, and typically if i sleep with somebody a few times, we will find a way to make me finish, and that payoff always creates a very endearing experience with my partner. however the initial feeling of sadness or frustration that they can’t make me cum seems to push some women away.
what should i do about this?