I am a 22(m) dating a 20(f), and I just started a full time job with an hour commute each way. I am so insanely stressed between my new job, and holding onto my relationship that I feel like I’m losing myself as a whole. The life that the two of us lived seems to be fading fast and it’s tearing me apart. My girlfriend is currently in-between staying at my house, and her dorm (she’s a senior in college), and has been at my house bored out of her mind. I want to help her going through this stressful time because she misses me 99% of the time, and she has a tendency to lash out once things hit a breaking point with us.
She absolutely dreads her roommates at college so she chooses to stay with me (bringing her cat with her, which i don’t mind at all because it helps her feel better). I just don’t know what to do… I feel ashamed that I’m even going to reddit in the first place. I started going to therapy around a month ago, which seems to help with dealing with these issues, but I just still feel so lost dealing with the lashing out due to me not being around as much.
She’s an amazing, caring person, but she has come from a family that has recently split apart and moved 4+ hours away. I’m her best friend, and I’m trying to help navigate her through this time, but it’s just so hard because there’s only so much I can do being away from the house for 10+ hours a day 5 days a week. She seems to be handling the change very rough, and I just want to support her through this time where she just feels so alone and very depressed. I feel like a terrible boyfriend, and I want to feel like I’m doing better than what I am.
We almost broke up with each other 6 months ago due to our differences, but we stayed with each other, and worked through our differences, just like I want to again. We worked through a lot of major problems, but it just seems like the keep coming after we progress further in life.
I want to hold myself accountable for everything that I do, because it’s what’s morally right, and I want an outside perspective to help comfort her as much as I can.
Since starting the job a month ago we have stopped doing “fun” things, and I just don’t know what to do with such little time in such a rural location. I miss the fun, amazing life that we lived months ago and I just want it back so bad. I feel so lost, and I’ve been crying myself to sleep so much recently feeling guilty for not being there as much as I should be. I don’t know if there is anything that can fix this, but someone please help.
TLDR: I started a full time job with two hours of commuting a day, and my girlfriend who is in college staying at my house is incredibly depressed and I want to help her push through this time of her life.