Ok. My mother and brother in law are driving me crazy and I need help on how to stay sane.
My mother in law is seriously an angel. Generous, kind, funny, just overall amazing. However, since moving into the basement suite of the house with my fiancé, she has been all of those things but also leaves a huge mess around the house she doesn't clean, and opens my packages. She swears it’s an accident but it’s happened at least 10 times at this point. I had a conversation with her tonight about it and she gave me a bitchy remark back.
My brother in law is a 27 year old who games all day/ all night. He has no job/ goes to school. He has been offered all the help in the world for anxiety/ depression including counselling, medication, family therapy, etc and he tries something then stops it 9/10. He doesn’t clean up after himself, including his dog he lets shit all over the place which causes a huge smell.
I’m losing it. My fiancé is getting more involved in talking with them but there’s a part of me that doesn’t trust him to give them the full picture of please clean after yourselves. We are unable to move out currently until I am done school in a few months and find full time work.
Given my timeline for moving, what specific, actionable steps can I take to address both the recurring mess/dog issue and the package opening with my fiancé's family?
3 comments
You should discuss this with your fiancée and then it is up to her to deal with her relatives. Don’t put yourself in a position between family members.
First of all you can’t change the way they are, if they are set in their ways they won’t change to appease you. They obviously are not bothered by mess or the smell. I would suggest that you try to keep to yourself in your space in the house. Keep your area as clean as you need it to be and stay there. I also suggest you do not clean up for them, because if you start doing that they will start expecting it constantly and it will put more pressure on you. I’m glad that your fiancé is standing up for you but he also cannot create that change in them. Keep your mind on your goals, finishing school and then getting your own place. Do what you need to do to get it done and keep your head down in the meantime.
You should order a box of sex toys.