My wife said a lot of hurtful things to me recently that I wrote about here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/n4PS42Eyf2
My counselor says I should use “I” language instead of “you” language but feels like he’s taken it to the extreme to where I can’t properly communicate.
In our marriage counselor meeting, my wife said that she doesn’t think that she said anything that was that mean, that I started it, and the counselor told me that I shouldn’t say that what she said was mean and that I shouldn’t even specify what she said, that I should just look deep within myself and figure out what in my past makes me feel so strongly about all of this.
He says I shouldn’t ever say “you.” I know how to avoid accusatory and assuming language already, but how am I supposed to communicate specifics? I can’t expect my wife to magically know what she did wrong if I don’t communicate it.
I’m very confused about these instructions from the marriage counselor and I filled out about whether he’s correct.
If my wife were to hypothetically punch me, then I should be allowed to talk about it. So where is the line?