Hi f/37 married to m/37. We got 3 kids. Oldest is nearing 18. Others are between 10-13.
I used to think that the husband was being just over picky, micromanaging and projecting his flaw or uncomforts or insecurities into the oldest cause she’s very similar personality to him.
But over the years it’s hasn’t improved to how much I would like.
We were young parents. Pretty much pregnant my whole 18th year and had her at 19.
So I understand that becoming a parent and being fatherly could take time. I immediately changed from teen to mother quick. I had the childcare experience and had been around littles and other younger kids my whole childhood. So becoming a mom became an instant change that I was able to manage and jump into.
Almost 18 yrs later my oldest is a 4.0 kid and accepted to colleges and has a job and is pretty good. Not into trouble or going out or even into drinking or smoking she’s a great kid who’s ambitious and self motivated and can be a little hard on her self when her ego gets hurt but she got my emotional and parental support her whole life.
The husband though has been like not picky from the moment she started kindergarten. I’ve always wanted them to have a close relationship and like she’s the only girl so dad and daughter stuff of her being able to go to him or feel like loved and supported. But he’s failed at that with micro managing, criticism and sometimes sheet shit talking about her.
Like he’s jealous of his kid. He was just as successful as he was at her age. But he feel like idk like…. Well what I SEE is that he seems to compete with her. I have to always remind him she’s just a teen and he’s a 30 year old.
This also applies to my attention. As in if I’m giving out kids or her specially too much attention it annoys him. And it’s becoming more and more. I don’t get it.
She’s almost 18 and she just wants a good relationship with her dad. Like she’s cried many times since she was 8 about it and I have to go and talk to her and then him and now it’s still the same and now that she’s getting to be a young adult I have to talk to her honestly.
When he attacks her verbally over something that’s trivial cause he feels he’s correct I have to tell him to quit it. Like she could be sick and he’ll still do it. I DONT FUCKING GET IT!!!
I’d like to hear from some dads or men on why he treats her like she’s doing everything wrong?! The kid is a great student, responsible sister, volunteers and yea maybe as all teen a little self centered but that’s how teens are.
Why can’t he have some sense of gentle, loving fatherly behavior. And when he does show it he gets upset when the kids, especially her don’t react how he wanted like accepting and praising him.
I know it’s him and his self centered personality. He might even be bipolar. But I’m tired of being the middle man and it takes away from me feeling by attracted to him.
Like when I do call him out when he treats her this way he’ll try to make it up but to me with trying to give me compliment about my body in a sexual way and groping. Like he know I’m upset but thinks his advances are gonna fix it and when he see it doesn’t help he gaslights and says “ women complain that their husbands don’t touch them and here I’m trying to appreciate you and you don’t like it.”
Like dude you just belittled our daughter and I got mad…. So playing with my boobs and touching my ass and pussy is suppose to make me feel better!? Like he does it for himself I know as comfort for him feeling like he’s being a crappy parent. He tried to comfort himself with groping not understanding that he’s only making his behavior look worse.
What is wrong with him.