I’m (21F) considering ending things with my (25M) Fiancée. My Fiancée has been sober for 4 years. He was heavy into coke which apparently brought him into a whole deal of debt. Then to crack. He just smokes pot now like I do. He admitted this morning that when he went to an EDM Festival, he did a line of coke because he was having a bad trip. Mind you-this was a month ago. He had plenty of time to tell me.
I lost a friend recently and stated I wanted to go out to drink with friends. He stated “Idk what's going on. Now you want to go out with whoever and get blacked out because it'll make you feel better temporarily. When you find out voids dont get filled like that let me know. I feel like you've already given up on me and you've barely given me a shot. Idk what to do anymore”. He’s a huge hypocrite for that.
My father was an alcoholic and I’ve seen him sober for the first 8 years of my life to dip back into beer. I never want to go through that again. I’m scared he will relapse again and again.
I asked him if he thought it was ok to do every once in a while and he hesitated. I know how addicts are. They lie and they justify everything they do. I am scared to marry/have children with someone who can easily jump back into it.
He is very nonchalant about it like it wasn’t a big deal. To me-that’s a dealbreaker. Am I overreacting?
Edit—-I’ve never done anything other than shrooms and acid-which I only did acid because he glorified it. I’ve been around coke but never had the slightest desire to start. I hated the acid. I didn’t like the way I saw him either- he tried to have sex one time-and I started feeling weird about it. Then I freaked out and he kept apologizing like he had sexually assaulted me. I was scared the rest of the trip. Then I got over it. Now I want nothing to do with acid.
2nd Edit—- I drove to his house and ended things. He said he’d get help, but I told him he needs to do that for him. He kept saying I’m his purpose blah blah blah. I stood my ground. I’m so scared he’s going to go downhill. I’m praying for him. Thank you everyone for your kind words