I’m at 27F engaged to a 29M.
I understand completely that women often need to feel secure and intimate to feel turned on- but my question is a bit different. my sex drive is high if i feel
wanted but if i don’t, my sex drive essentially dies and I feel anxious and unable to be turned on. when we have regular sex, and I feel
desired i have no issue initiating but when it’s been a week or more I have a sexual
block.
My relationship has been 6 years and there is ALWAYS romance and security and intimacy. My partner is incredibly supportive,
attractive and we do frequently have physical touch that isn’t sexual. we used to have sex all the time because he would constantly initiate and was always horny, and I loved that and was constantly turned on.
We’ve reached a point where I don’t feel like he treats me like a sexual being unless we’re in bed.
He doesn’t start to touch me sexually or make sexual comments or objectify me (consensually) at all unless it’s in bed and it’s less frequently
now. Sometimes we don’t have sex for a full
week. sometimes we have sex several
times a week. I’ve talked to him about this and how my sex drive essentially turns off if we aren’t having regular sex. he said he’s just been tired lately and does find me sexy but doesn’t show it. he also wants more sex.
the issue is, we haven’t had sex for like 10
says and there’s been no signs from him he desires me. he tried to initiate last night in bed without any prior signs of desire and i felt so anxious and not mentally there that I had to say no, which honestly I don’t like doing. I want to want sex, but I need him
to show me he wants me.
I guess i’m
wondering if this normal or am i asking too much? I understand it takes 2 to have a sex life but for some reason if i don’t feel pursued and needed I can’t reciprocate.