Would it be morally wrong to take an innocent person’s virginity?

46 comments

1. >The issue is that he’s 100% down to clown, but I still feel like that in the future he might regret not doing it with someone more special, even if he knows what my intentions are.

   Why are you presuming he will regret losing it to you?

   >when my intentions are not completely entirely pure

   Your intentions sound approximately as pure as anybody else’s, to me.

2. I cant stop laughing about the title’s wording making it sound like the poor boy is being sentenced to death. I would be really honest and upfront about what your intentions are and let him decide for himself if that is something he is ok with.

3. This is ridiculous if he is consenting there is no moral dilemma here.

   Have your fun and don’t overthink

4. He’s an adult, yeah? He can make his own choices about his life and body. Let him make that choice for himself.

5. The only thing is he might start to develop feelings for you. It’s a maybe but a possibility. Usually casual sex or sex with no strings occurs when two people have somewhat common experiences.

6. It’s honorable that you are thinking about him in these terms, but if he’s acting in this way, he’s letting you know he wants it (In some form). What is up to you is what you choose to do about it. Ultimately, I would be up front about this beforehand, and tell him exactly the things that you have here. If he doesn’t recoil, and still wants it, go for it. If he does, then perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. Communication is key, and he can’t fault you if you tell him what it is up front and then it’s exactly as you say, even if he wants it to be more. Best of luck.

7. Just tell him you’d like to have sex, but aren’t planning on a relationship.

   If he’s cool with that, then go for it.

   There’s no ethical problem with just wanting sex, as long as you’re not deceiving him or leading him on.

   Also, you never know, you may end up liking the guy too, so don’t subconsciously close the door on a relationship happening naturally.

   In addition, most guys (and a lot of girls) don’t regret that they lost their virginity to someone, unless that person ends up being a fuckwit. Don’t be a fuckwit and he won’t regret it.

8. Be very clear about where you are at with the relationship stuff before you fuck him.

   Don’t spend too much time with him.
   You may break his heart. But that could happen anyway.

   I wish more women just fucked me when I was younger.

9. Ask him. Tell him you don’t want to date. The choice is his, and if he later regrets it, that isn’t on you.

10. Switch this around, and they would be calling for the death penalty 😂

11. What do want? Him? Maybe you’ll like him

12. Tell him your intentions but know most men and women fall for there first if hes cool ig we but you might make him obsessed with you lol

13. Corrupt him! J/K have fun and use protection.

14. Why is the question phrased like this? As if only guilty people’s virginity is worthy of taking? This feels so odd

15. Just ask him if he’s a gamer? If yes, find games you both play. Invite him over for a night of whatever game and hug him when he arrives. Of course, dress down attire like PJ bottoms and a T-shirt. Somehow work into the conversation that you like him and want to be friends, maybe with benefits someday. Luck.

16. Think of yourself as a personal trainer for him then. His mate is a shit one at that; he should be helping his mate out as any wingman should for him to have a happy landing straight into your poonani.

17. Go with the flow. You can’t control his or your desire.You never know he could hv a worst experience in the future.

18. Just go for it. He’s lucky to have such a thoughtful person as his first.

19. Did you consider that maybe the guy never dated anyone and never slept with anyone because he has no idea how to do that and nobody escalated with him and shown him what and how?

20. I used to be that “innocent kid” (hell, I was quite religious back then). I used to imagine my first time will be with my wife after marriage.

    Well, life happens – and it takes that special girl to take my virginity away. Do I regret it? Nope. It is what it is. She’s not my gf, and our relationship only lasted for 3 months before she went to different country. Then I moved on.

    I just hope that you can maintain this relationship with him in longer term. First sex is.. always very flowery. Expect him to be more clingy with you. Just be patience and if he’s too clingy, tell him to distract himself while you’re not around.
    Also, if he cums fast – just tell him it’s normal. It takes experience for man to understand his own pace 😉

    Based from your description, seems like you want good intention too -so go have fun!

21. Be fair and upfront with him. Than he will for sure go with it and take what he gets but he will also be very hurt if you pull away and who knows how his reaction will be since he got no experience with that. Just be ready for a lot of trouble if you peruse it.

22. The fact you’re considering this at all shows you’re a pretty good candidate for his first time, you’re clearly considerate of his feelings and from what I can tell whether or not you decide to stay with him you’ll be kind about it, which is more than a lot of people would do.

    Beyond that, whatever he may think about you or want with you, if he’s chosen you for his first time then that’s his choice independent of what comes after, he might love it, he might regret it, either way It’s a possible mistake he has to make all on his own.

    And from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’re in a position to give him a pretty good first time, no matter what you two decide to do after.

23. You would be doing both of you a great injustice by not doing it.

24. Be honest with him say I’m not looking for a relationship but fwb that you like him I wouldn’t hold back from a relationship if you guys catch feelings you can do what you want and still have a relationship

25. Virginity is not real. It is a social construct (see queer sex- is it not “real” because two penises or two vaginal are involved?).

    You are not “taking” anything. If he consents to sex, he is choosing the experience for himself.

    It’s not your job to manage his decisions or feelings. It is deeply important to your healthy development to only focus on your own feelings and decisions.

26. No it’s not morally wrong, if you both want it, it’s pretty silly not to go ahead

27. OP – you have heart in right place but be upfront with him. Sure chances are he wants more yet I also think he will appreciate your honesty and straightforwardness. Not only that, you laying it out like this can also lead towards him growing as a man.

    Btw loved your style of writing. Best of luck!

28. During college as a freshman who wasn’t ready for sex, I had many women throw themselves at me that freshman year. A lot of my friends ended up having sex with them. I didn’t. We were alone in my room and they made all of the advances. I was so nervous and didn’t reciprocate. I wasn’t ready. After like 3-4 tries or cuddles ok laying on top of me face to face, they realized okay and stopped. Yes I had a boner and froze while clothed . This even happened at age 21. One of my best friends’ friend wanted to fuck( iwasnt a virgin), but I believed in monogamy and relationship. She threw herself at me and almost had sex but I was like wait let’s go on a date. Lol fail. No sex. Only fondling.

    I’m glad I waited to experience sex the way I do. If he isn’t ready he will freeze up and do nothing. Listen to signals. Honestly if they were more communicative, I probably would have had sex. Just tell him, I want to have sex with you. And he’ll be like okay, yes or no. If he says no, give him a few days or hours and he will change his mind after thinking about it.

    It’s college. Be yourself even if you’re having sex or not. Be yourself. Talk.

    Also almost no one stays with their first. Unless they married right after highschool or something.

    Edit: Only 2 told me out like 12 women told me they wanted to have sex, and I froze up and couldn’t move or said no. The other 10 all made advances, but never actually said the words. If there straightforward and gave me time to think , I think I would have said yes.

29. I just say tall with him, I know how it feels to be the boy in this situation, and it would have felt better to me, if she just explained it to me and not just ghost me. Talk with him, let him decide if it’s what he wants and maybe he will still give you gifts and stuff just as a token of friendship not romance

30. I mean, if nobody ever took anyone’s virginity. None of us would be here.

31. Tell him youre not open to dating and let him make up his own mind. Hes not an innocent, and its rude to describe him as such. No doubt he has sexual thoughts and desires.

32. girl if u don’t hurry up and bounce on it i swear😑 LMAOOjk. i agree w a lot of what ppl are saying about how ur definitely overthinking it and if he consents to any sexual activities then that is his choice. u have no idea if he were to regret it in the future. not everyone wants to “lose” their v card to someone they’re in a relationship with. sometimes people are perfectly fine with losing it when the oppuritunity rises yk. if the moment is special or “if it happens it happens” kind of thing i don’t think it rlly matters– depending on the person.

33. Ur doing him a favor, what wrong? And the way uve described him, seems like ur already falling for him. It might just turn out to be a win win!

34. Ma’am just be open and honest with him that you don’t know if you can be a good partner at the moment but you do like him back and would love to casually hang out but that you don’t want to hurt his feelings if things get steamy and a relationship doesn’t evolve right away. My guess is he would be happy to smash and you are overthinking it under the guise of protecting him whereas I personally think if you both really hit it off things will go ok just don’t force it to happen go with the flow. Honestly he may even be understanding that you’re busy and not able to focus on a relationship right now but you both remain sort of exclusive when schedules mesh and I bet things evolve from there. Trust your gut/heart sometimes it’s right even though it seems inconvenient or whatever it may be amazing.

35. I would also just add that when you tell him you don’t want a relationship give him the reasons you gave here.

    You state you would date him but don’t think you can give him the attention he needs but that’s an assumption from your side. If you lay out to him what you are able to give in a relationship now you may find he is onboard with that.

    I wouldn’t just throw away a potentially good thing on perceived logistics.

36. Idk. 

    From what I’ve seen, virgins over 18 have weird ideas about sex and are still childish to some degree. 

    I’ve seen a lot of their comments and they definately have issues. 

    This guy sounds different. Ask him. 

37. Don’t assume anything. Tell him what you told us and let him choose. You will both be happy and you might be surprised.

38. Aren’t girls the sweetest creatures on Earth?

39. Doesn’t seem like a problem to me. You two have a great connection that can lead to some beautiful intimacy. Sex doesn’t have to be couched in a relationship to be pure, enjoyable, mutual and simply just enough as it is. He might catch real feelings (or you might or maybe you two have already). In that case be upfront about what you can realistically give in terms of time and attention but as it is it sounds like ya’ll spend quite a bit of time together already. Chances are he really wants to have sex with you too so why caveat that with needing a full time relationship. You’re not stealing something away from him. Just because you’re not available for a huge investment of time and energy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a regrettable first time experience for him although being upfront and honest about that is important. Seems like he likes you too so go for it.

40. Most first male experiences are physical, devoid of deep emotions. It’s nice you are concerned about his mind and innocence. But knowing someone is always a mystery. He seems interested in you and you are wanting to know more about him, give life a chance.

41. This is wholesome af. I wish someone would treat my stepson like this.

    Go for it. Neurospicy or not, you both have agency. Be honest like you are and shoot your shot. You aren’t taking advantage of anyone if you’re honest from the beginning.

42. Curious though. You really seem to like him for more than just sex. I get the reasons for not wanting to be tied down like that at the moment. But how are YOU going to feel if you pass on it and he meets someone else?

43. I’m currently waking up next to the person who did this exact thing to me, 11 years ago.

    OP, you have been warned🤣

44. Sounds like you like him. How would you feel once he gets a girlfriend and you’re no longer around in the picture? Is he aware you do not want to date or be with anyone? If so, he likely won’t be doing all that cute stuff. He wants to date you. I’d be more concerned about him feeling mislead and heartbroken, empty, used. You need to talk to him.

45. As long as you don’t go the Shang tsung route and take his soul I don’t see the problem.

    We all start somewhere.

46. Girl, what? LMAO

    Be up front about how you aren’t looking to date, explain why, and then let him (an adult) make a decision about whether he is still interested in pursuing that sort of relationship with you. You’ll be fine.