i (23f) have been dating my bf (23m) for almost 3 years now. we met when we were in high school and my first impression upon seeing him for the first time was that he was the most beautiful person i had ever seen. however, recently my attraction to him has been plummeting. i am deeply in love with this man, and want to marry him one day. i just feel so shitty and superficial for feeling less attracted to him. here are the things that i think are affecting me:
-we are the same height, which doesn’t bother me much, but i like to feel petite and protected in a relationship. since getting together i have gained a bit of weight, and he has lost a bit of weight. i am actually quite happy with the way i look (i was severely underweight before), but i just feel ginormous since he’s lost so much weight. he used to have quite large biceps, but now his arms are the same size as mine, since he doesn’t work out at all anymore.
-he is trying to grow out his facial hair (i love mustaches and beards) but it’s so patchy and unkempt looking. and his hair is very long and curly, which i love, but he doesn’t really take care of it anymore, and it looks so frizzy and, again, unkempt.
-he suffers from severe acne on his back and chest, and it keeps getting worse, but he refuses to do anything to try and help with it.
i am what some people might consider a little too hygienic, and he’s not unhygienic by any means, but in terms of looking put-together he is quite lacking recently. it feels like he doesn’t care to take care of himself or his appearance anymore. i just don’t know what to do, because i love him so much and want to continue our relationship, but i can’t help but continue to lose attraction to him because of all of these things, and it makes me feel so shitty. especially since i know these things are likely due to his depression & adhd. i keep telling him that i will help him find a therapist or resources, and he seems open and willing, but he never wants to actually look with me. how do i communicate this to him without hurting him? i don’t want him to think i’m not attracted to him at all anymore, because i am, but these things are starting to overshadow my attraction to him.