TL;DR: my parents are so overbearing and it consistently gets worse. If I’m out of the house I will get calls non stop and when I’m at home I’m not good enough unless I’m cleaning or doing something productive. What do I do?
Basically me (24F) and my parents (50ish M and F) had a strained relationship. It always comes to me and my interpersonal relationships and their interference. For reference, I am an only child of immigrants. However here are some of the behaviours:
1. 10pm curfew until I was 21. My boyfriends would have to ask them for permission to take me out past 10pm and usually I was only allowed to be out until 11pm. Even when I went to bars or clubs with friends I’d see their car circling and had to be picked up by them. I even caught my dad following me when I went for brunch.
2. They had a tracker on my car and followed me consistently. I confronted them and they denied so heavily I had a genuine psychotic episode to the point of taking my car to a mechanic to break everything down and find the tracking device.
3. Now at 24, if I go out I must answer their call instantly. If I don’t, no matter if I’m busy, I’ll get upwards of 20 calls on mobile, instagram, WhatsApp and additional texts. Then when I get home I will get yelled at until they are satisfied.
4. My mother booked an appointment for my psychologist under my name to tell them that everything I spoke about her was wrong.
5. If they disapprove of a friend, every time I hang out with them will be a lecture, calls, forcing me to come home until the friendship dies.
I have a full time job and am studying my masters. I don’t know how to explain to them that I need a life. I’ve tried talking a million times, suggesting family therapy etc. it’s like talking to a brick wall.
I want to move out but financially I don’t know if I can. What do I do?