My (22F) boyfriend (21M) and I have been together for about two years, but lately things haven’t been the same. We’re kind of in this weird in-between space where we are still seeing each other, still talking, but it doesn’t feel as close as it used to.
He’s been really unhappy with his job lately and he says it’s one of the worst he’s had, that it makes him feel worthless because people ignore him all day. I know it’s been weighing on him heavily, and he’s admitted that he’s been focusing on himself and not really prioritizing our relationship. I understand that, I want him to feel better and figure his stuff out, but it’s still hard not to feel ignored sometimes.
Recently, he gave me flowers and a really kind card for my birthday. He even took me out to breakfast and got me a gift card to one of my favorite restaurants. It meant a lot, especially because he didn’t have to do any of that. But at the same time, I found out that he removed the heart emoji from my contact on his phone, and that’s been stuck in my head for some reason. The last time we hung out, I saw that he still had it on there despite us going through this rough patch, so I’m unsure why now he’s doing that. Now, I can’t help but wonder if he also took down pictures of us from his room or his devices.
It just hurts, because I’ve done something similar like I’ve put away the photos and letters he’s given me, not because I don’t care, but because it’s painful to look at them right now. I still love him, but it’s hard to see those reminders when things aren’t okay between us.
I guess what I’m wondering is why do people do that? Why do we remove or hide reminders of someone we love when things are rough? Is it just to protect ourselves? Does it mean he’s trying to detach from me? Or could it just be that he’s struggling too and trying to give himself space?
I don’t know if he still wants to be with me, but I know he still cares. I’m just tired of the inconsistency and the moments where he seems all in, and then the times where he pulls away completely. I don’t want to keep waiting and wondering. What should I do?
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I are in a weird, uncertain place. He’s been distant because of stress from his job, but still does thoughtful things like giving me flowers and a birthday card. I found out he removed the heart next to my name in his contacts, and I think he might’ve taken down pictures of us too. I’ve also put away our photos and letters because it hurts to look at them. I’m not sure if this means he’s detaching or just needs space.