I (25M) am struggling with an emotional response of mine that occurs in my relationships. I am currently have a girlfriend (24F) of a couple months. I have had my share of relationships but I am by no means the most desirable bachelor in the world. That means there have often been long periods in my life when I have been alone and single (at longest 2 years). When I have a relationship I really enjoy and value spending time with my partner. It's critical for me. When we arrange a time to meet, I get really excited and that excitement continues until we meet. It's a constant feeling of expectedly waiting. This has been true of all my relationships and I don't see anything unnatural about that. However, I do have an issue with how I feel when for whatever reason I don't get to meet with my partner. When they cancel or delay, even for fully valid reasons, it can be really deflating and disrupting for me. I would describe the feeling that occurs as a kind of sadness that falls over me like a blanket. It completely destroys my day and annihilates my plans and mood. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sometimes even cry. I feel physically weak and exhausted. I know rationally that this is an overreaction. I know life happens and I myself need to cancel meetings sometimes but yet this feeling persists. The response is so out of proportion with the event, and I don't know how to control it or minimise it. It has also been a major reason why I have ended relationships in the past. What can I do to escape from this cycle and prevent the debilitating effects of this feeling?
In the rest of my life I never experience emotional responses like this. I have a fulfilled life, with a lot of friends and activities that capture my interest and take up my time. I work a good job and have money to play with. I would describe myself right now as the happiest I have ever been with my life and my place in the world. This is my first time posting on this subreddit and one of the first times posting on reddit.
TL;DR:
I’m a 25M in a happy relationship, and overall my life is good. But whenever my partner cancels or delays plans, even for valid reasons, I have an intense emotional crash. The anticipation of seeing them builds up, and when plans fall through I feel overwhelmingly sad, drained, and sometimes cry. It ruins my whole day, even though I know it's irrational. This reaction has caused problems in past relationships, and I want to understand how to stop this cycle or manage the emotional impact.