Wondering how marriages work with division of responsibility, I have created a mess for myself and I am just so exhausted. We have been married for 29 years (married young at 20), three children, 23, 20, 17. He has never taken initiative or responsibility for anything. And I know I created this but I can’t keep it up anymore.
He mows the grass, goes to work, takes the trash out. He won’t even hang a pair of curtains for me if it’s during the work week…(I said fine I will do it and he flipped out that I would f* it up) he works 40 hrs with a 1 hr commute each way. Comes home and won’t do anything if it’s during the week.
I have worked from home full time the last 4 years but worked outside the home always before that. I did every kid sport, activity, club etc. I manage everything- home, car repairs, bills, plans, vacations, appointments (for everyone), all meals and shopping, you name it. If I am not home to order or make dinner sometimes he won’t even eat.
I don’t know how to change this and I can’t continue it. If I express my feelings he gives silent treatment or the standard gaslighting (I guess I am just a terrible husband) to immediately shut me down. I know I have resentment built up from being his mother, provider and supporter. This post is actually making me cry a bit. I just need some advice or want to know I am not the only one.