My avoidant conflict style can make me a difficult husband. After a tough childhood with no good relationship examples, it's left its mark, and quarrels can lead to a week or more of near-silence.
That's where I was this morning. My wife was deeply upset, and I was stuck. I turned to chatbot (which I use daily at work). I laid out the situation, my conflict style, why I was upset, and what I wanted to change.
It workshopped my jumbled thoughts, created a script that included an apology, took responsibility, identified things I’d like to change, and used 'I' statements to address my core issues.
I didn't read it verbatim, but it gave me a framework to navigate. When I finished, she started crying, saying it was the best repair from a fight in our 15-year marriage. Eventually I may learn to do this without AI, but it’s a great tool until I do.