i feel like our relationship has always been complicated so i’ll try to keep this short with enough context.
a bit of background that’s relevant, i’m my moms only child and we’ve lived with our immediate family until she moved out 4 years ago after she got in an argument with pretty much everyone there. until then, i always felt like i had to either walk on eggshells so i don’t hurt her feelings or “side with everyone else”. she’s told me for as long as i can remember that any time i don’t agree with what she’s saying, im against her or trying to embarrass her or can’t think for myself so i’ve always tried to hold my tongue because like … who agrees with their parent all the time? she didn’t like that because to her i was distant or miserable or sensitive. basically if it wasn’t the way she liked it, i was the problem.
onto the issue, with our relationship getting more rocky as i’ve grown up, if i don’t apologize or tuck my tail between my legs and move on, she won’t speak to me. sometime in june if this year, it seems she had a few issues with me building up and it blew up. after a few days of short answers, she called me to tell me everything wrong with me pretty much and ended up saying “i’m done, i need space, i can’t do this anymore” without really letting explain myself or have a productive conversation. she told me if she saw me at a bus stop she wouldn’t even stop to pick me up (which honestly makes me think she has before) so i hung up and texted her that i have a part in the decline of our relationship but she does as well and added that i hoped we could talk to a counsellor or something to fix our relationship. no reply, no call, nothing. BUT she could spoke to me long enough to add her to my prime account and spend money on MY card.
she hasn’t replied to my text, called me or anything since june but i know she wants to speak to me because when she sees me she says hello or compliments me thinking ill forget the hurtful things she says ALL THE TIME. i don’t feel like i should but she doesn’t see reason like ever. im at a point where im wondering if maybe i should just cut my losses? do i try to get my point across now that she’s cooler off? it doesn’t feel like she really wants to take accountability or apologize for how she hurts me but i ALWAYS have to take accountability for anything that isn’t as grande as she makes it out to be.
kinda long and all over the place but im at a crossroads. i can provide more context or clarify anything if it helps