TL;DR F37 M37
We’ve been married 5 years and together 13.
On Saturday night my husband attended a bucks party. He messaged me beforehand, and I told him I was uncomfortable with him going to a strip club, but I tried to be understanding since it’s “what you do” at a bucks.
Later, I found out he lied. When I checked our bank statements, I saw he had withdrawn money and paid for 3–4 private dances — at one point even having two girls at once. I only discovered this after confronting him because he kept denying anything happened. He lied to my face for nearly five hours before finally admitting the truth.
I’m devastated. I feel heartbroken and insecure about his choices and the fact that he could look me in the eyes and lie, especially after I had asked him to come home at 3 a.m. when he’d been out since 10 a.m.
I know some people might not consider strip clubs or lap dances “cheating,” but to me, it feels like a complete betrayal of my trust and boundaries.
I can’t even look at this man and at the moment I’m not feeling secure in our relationship. I need advice on what I should be doing my next steps
I’m struggling with how to move forward from this. How can I rebuild trust, and what steps can I take to heal and decide what’s best for me and our marriage?