So I’ve always struggled with this instinctual disgust that I feel with my girlfriend. It feels deep in my lizard brain because she does have health issues that pose a threat to me and yeah self preservation is a thing.
When we first started dating we had sex after about 2 months. We were really infatuated with each other.
Then she tells me she has herpes.
Well if you know anything about herpes you know it’s not as bad as the high school rumors. I didn’t get it but it definitely triggered a flight or fight response when it comes to intimacy with her. She has adhd and autism which makes it hard to feel her body so I have absolutely zero faith that she would be able to warn me when she has an outbreak.
She also doesn’t brush her teeth. To the point where nearly every one of them needed drilled out and capped. This is due to the adhd I guess. The pressure to be clean or whatever. You can tell I’m jaded by this answer. I mean I’ve struggled in the past but like… if half the teeth are rotting out of your skull, and you (and your parents) are paying tens of thousands of dollars to get them fixed… wouldn’t you have some pretty strong motivation to brush them?
Lastly, we’re scheduled to go on vacation in a couple weeks. But she has a really bad case of ring worm and obviously she feels so frustrated and low about it. Honestly? I do too. I don’t really want to be hot tubbing and cuddling with someone covered in ringworm. Especially after having the herpes scare. Like I said, some paranoia gets down into the lizard brain.
I’m really trying not to judge but it’s so hard when I’m neurotypical and she is neurodivergent. I mean you can get ringworm anywhere.. but she does live in filth and struggles with hygiene. Many prudish people get herpes from someone who doesn’t know they have it, it doesn’t make you a slut. But your chances increase if you sleep with a lot of people and aren’t discerning. And the world is tough, I struggle to care for myself sometimes.
On one hand I have a lot of sympathy because at the end of the day idk what she goes through. On the other hand I’m very put off by her conditions because I feel like they are a result of lifestyle choices. Again I know “lifestyle choices” is not exactly fair when talking about neurodivergent people but at a certain point that really does just feel like a cop out.
Like “I’m broken so why try”