I (M26) and partner of 5 years (F23) have struggled with our sex life since our child was born 3 years ago.
Her libido disappeared with a spell of the ‘baby blues’ and hasn’t returned. I regard myself as quite a sexual person; a big fan of physical intimacy and touch. We’ll now find ourselves in the bedroom once per 10-14 days.
There is no initiation from her side, at all. It normally comes about after a few days of asking and being told “Tomorrow”. When we do come to be intimate, it feels like a transaction. There’s no kissing or talking. Oral isn’t a thing to her (I haven’t had a BJ in 5 years, and haven’t been down on her since, who knows. Not because I don’t want to, I’ll add). It’s affected my stamina and makes me feel bad when I’m not at full mast when she decides it’s time.
She knows I’m not happy. We try and talk. “If you don’t like it, find someone else”, is normally the outcome. Surely I can’t be that asshat who walks away from his family, because of a lack of sex?
I don’t want this too come across as ‘poor me’ or a stupid sob story. It’s just, I don’t have anyone to speak to about this. My social groups are in my home town and my current circle of amigos are work colleagues. I’d prefer to keep business and pleasure separate.