My wife and I have been married for about 8 years. We have 2 amazing boys (7/5).
After my first child was born we decided that I would be the sole provider because daycare in the State we live in is pretty much 30-40k per year.
For the past 5 years I’ve worked a 9-5 and started my own business doing marketing. There times that after we put kids to sleep I would go into my office and work on my clients. All said, I’ve manage to do good for ourselves as I am now making $175k year which is more that double since 2018 when I started being the sole breadwinner.
My wife after our first born had the worst Post-partum depression. She had to go into antidepressants plus she has a thyroid issue with she also takes medication for. So she’s been in antidepressants for about 7 years. During this time we barely have sex 1-2 per month sometimes we go 2-4 months without having anything.
A note here; I found out 2 years ago she had been talking to one of her ex behind my back for about 3 years maybe more. She has had phone calls and has also exchanged photographs of her naked.
Early this summer she had an epiphany where she said she wasn’t happy with our relationship, she wasn’t sure if she could have sex with me anymore because (her body rejected me) during this time she was also talking to her ex and confessed she thought she loved him because she misses the “passion” she had with him and that we don’t have.
I am a nice person, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do any drugs. I believe I am a great dad as I always take great care of them and even family has told me this. We live and have our kids in a great city and schools system, it’s a very affluent city. Like I would have never thought I’d be here.
I may not be the most romantic person ever but I do try.
Sometimes I don’t understand what I did wrong, I have been the hard working husband who started a business and I am in all aspects of the word successful. But somehow I am not enough to have my wife have sex with me. After her epiphany I was ready to walked out and end it but we said we should give ourselves another try and that only lasted for 1 month and again I am back to no sex.
She always acts like I am asking for too much or I bother her by any type of initiation, verbal or touching. If I get “too handsy” I get yelled at and scolded like a damn child. She says she loves me but our sex life is practically dead. She says I don’t try but I’ve literally spend almost every day with her talking in the evening or cuddling on the couch after our kids go to bed and yet she says I don’t try? I pay for her nails, her hair, and everything she wants and I get nothing.
Now I know that because I do all those things she doesn’t have to have sex but like damn. What am I doing wrong. Should I leave my marriage or stay? I have a high sex drive and I can’t keep going through this marriage getting breadcrumbs of sex. Currently I am on month 3 of no sex and it’s driving me crazy.
Please any help would be appreciate it. Am I wrong to ask for sex? Should I leave?