38F married 6 years.
All of these posts on feigned incompetence and weaponized incompetence. This is just one screenshot, but the posts go on and on.
Men are certainly socialized to de-prioritize emotional intelligence and capabilities with children and around the house, but why is the buck stopping there so often?
Does anyone feel like they are 3x annually calling a referendum on this? I’m sick of the conflict and stress of having to address this over and over again. It reminds me of that saying, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”
My husband is a dad, a husband, a son, a friend, a person with a body who needs to eat and go to the doctor and to the dentist. But I manage basically all of the above, I even schedule his haircuts.
Is this too much to ask? Take a kid, have an outing, I’m dressed up, say I look pretty, call your mom, call your friends, make dinner once in a while, suggest anything, a walk, the park, a project etc…
Why is this so often falling on the wife in a hetero-cis gender household? There’s nothing wrong with fighting for an equal division in emotional labor and parenting, but the stress and conflict associated with it, all to little consistent gain, is so draining. He’s finally helping out with the laundry/dishes. But the hard part is still all me and I feel like I’m holding up the sky. And when I flag this, “you’re just better at it” and “I just don’t think of it”. Well, get better at it. Think of it. Set an alert on your damn phone if you have to.
Also, I’m hurt, disappointed, and feel neglected. I want someone to do life with but I’ve got someone who’s just along for the ride and is pleased with my just taking care of everything for him and our family.
Any success stories? Old dogs learning new tricks?