I’ve been with a wonderful guy for about a year. I love him a lot. Here’s the issue: he dropped the news on me today he wants 4-5 kids.
Neither one of us grew up in households with that many kids, so I’m absolutely stunned. After talking with him, I feel like he doesn’t understand the practical realities of that many kids and is imagining a wonderful situation where everything goes right, everyone is friends, etc. It doesn’t seem like he anticipates the workload either – especially considering he expects to focus on his career and have his future wife take care of the many kids.
Both of us are very successful in high powered career paths. I make a high 200k salary and he’s in the 400k range. I only mention this because I worked extremely hard to attain a career path where I could be independent. I went to a very prestigious grad program (doesn’t even matter but just to give a sense of how hard I’ve grinded to get to this point). But it’s increasingly seeming like he wants a stay at home wife who takes care of the 4-5 kids. He’s expressed he wouldn’t want a nanny either. I don’t want to lose my independence and career. He also wants to live in his hometown while this happens – so I’d have to uproot from the city where I’m established myself. It’s all a mess.
Is there literally anything I can do here? I’m stuck. I spent most of today crying because I don’t know what to do. I’m 28F and he’s mid 30s.