Hi,
My gf (22) and i are in a relationship for like 6 months now. She is great in everything and i do love her. One thing that has been a bit bumpy, is our intimacy. She has a skin condition (psoriasis) and is on medication that doesnt make her feel great which sucks but i try to be as understanding. We both work, so weekends are really the only days we get to meet and actually get alone time. But when we plan to meet sometimes she cancels because she isnt feeling great. She tells me she feels bad for canceling last minute as well. Thats completely understandable, but i can help but feel a little annoyed especially when we dont have that much time together anyway. I try to be there for her as much as i can, and ask if i can help in any way. Regarding intimacy like, we are only intimate like once every 4-5 weeks. But ik this is due to us also living away from each other(only an hour away) + work + other life events. But i would always want to be up for it. For example we were meant to meet this week, i was thinking she could come over/i go to hers, we also wanted to do an activity, but she said wasnt enough time in the day (coz it takes a while to get back to hers) so i suggested just to come over to mine /or hers, instead of activity, but then she said she wasnt feeling great, so idk i dont want to undermine her but it feels a little bit like a get away card.
I feel like a bad person for feeling this way even though she is going through a lot. But thats how i feel, so idk what to do about it.
Any advice please?
1 comment
The purpose of dating is to see if it’s a good fit. This isn’t for you.
Even if she isn’t feeling great—and I get it, I have a chronic illness—hanging out isn’t going to make it worse. She’s going to have to learn how to not let her diagnosis be her identity and dictate every piece of her life and make some accommodations.
But you don’t need to stick around while she figures that out. She’s just not in a place right now to really date. You are. So that makes it a bad fit.