We’ve been together for 6 years and in the first year, she told me, after sex, that I was the first person to give her an orgasm. Of course, I felt good about myself.
We were talking about past experiences (which is normal for us), some not so good, and she was talking about her first partner who took her virginity – It was a good relationship or situation for her. Then out of no where she said “he’s the only man to ever give me an orgasm.” It was an immediate blow, but she was being vulnerable about the topic and I wanted to be supportive, so I thanked her for opening up to me, then we went about our grocery trip.
Here I am, internalizing it. Yes, I’m going to talk to her, but I don’t know what to make of it.
At one point after sex, I told her “I feel like you’re faking or just giving me pity sex” of course, it was denied. Even recently, we were in a heated discussion about our current sex life (not that great) and the comment came up, “In the beginning I put out for you.” Just the phrase “put out” makes me feel validated on how I felt.
I guess I’m just reaching out because I don’t talk to anybody about sex life or downs in our relationship. Am I over internalizing the situation or no?
Edit for Clarity: our sex life hasn’t been great because our connection hasn’t been great. She’s told me in the past she only enjoys sex when we are on good terms… understandable. It hasn’t been and we haven’t had sex for 3-4 months. This is primarily due to our values and future plans butting heads with each other. It’s been tense lately. But this is for another post.
Edit for Clarity about sex: our sex life is good with communication. Im confident in bed, She tells me what she likes, doesn’t like, I’m always up for anything, like to try everything once, like to focus on her instead of just myself. What getting me is the fact that she told me I was the only person to give her an orgasm. Then told me another guy, her first, was the only person. So now I am questioning, what was real with me and what wasn’t? She has had many more partners than me, so I always questioned a little bit. But now I’m questioning things.
FINAL EDIT: We are younger than the post says, but she reads these a lot and this is my first post. I was only seeking to see if I was making this bigger than I thought. Our relationship has always been rocky. It was not perfect to begin with. We’ve work on our communication, grew over time, but we’ve come to a stand still. Some with me, some with her. But that’s a relationship.
Thank you for all your input
And yes, I will be talking to her this evening.