what are some green flags that you personally find unattractive?
October 3, 2025
in the sense that said green flags that signify they're a good person, but you just personally don't find those traits attractive
31 comments
Volunteering in little projects around town to save the world. I respect that and I have a couple of not that close friends that are big into such things and I love them for that. Maybe everyone should do that. But I just know instantly that we won’t vibe all that much with each other.
The super-feminine, flowery dress, sourdough-baking thing ain’t it.
Give me some tattoos. Give me some curse words. Give me a girl that smokes when she drinks.
Fuck bread. Let’s actually have some fun.
Women whose primary identity is being a mother/parent. Green flag because being a good parent to your kids is important. But I don’t want kids, don’t want a lifestyle that is particularly child friendly, and I don’t want to be mothered.
Caring too much about social justice.
A desire for all or nothing commitment. Most people seem to be looking for someone to be their everything but I’ve found that seems to be too needy for me and I just shut down when someone wants something from me I can’t give them.
I really don’t like women whose whole personality revolves around their boyfriend. I admire someone who is passionate about anything in general. something that makes her eyes shine brighter than her smile, something she can talk about for hours.
guys that want kids, im sure thats great and all, but I do not want them and do not want to be with a person that does.
are they really “green” flags if lots of men find them unattractive?
is the flag color just virtue signalling?
They don’t drink alcohol
Friends with their exs.
Went away knowing she was going out with a “friend” while I was away. “Cool, have fun!”. That night she texts me saying “***He***(!) brought up some history we had, but I shut it down because I love you.”
“Um, ok… Why are you seeing exs?”
“He’s not an ex, we just have history. God it’s sexy when you are protective.”
“Umm… not for *me*, love. Feels pretty shit tbh.”
You like me back and want to care for me?
You must have low standards and no self respect
Being fiercely independent. The kind of woman who puts “I don’t need a boyfriend, I want one “on her dating profile. I think it’s a good thing to have your life together and be happy as a single person. But if we’re going to be together, I can’t feel utterly disposable.
Acting like a submissive tradwife. Maybe I watched Stepford Wives way too early in life but that kinda shit always creeps me out.
Caring about like, every cause or social issue.
Having a few big ones is good, we should all strive to make the world a better place in our own way, fight your fight and all that. BUT if all you do is care about every single sob story, then you just spend all your time upset about everything and you’re never happy.
I have known several people like this, and they literally don’t have a social life outside of rallies and protests. It feels like the flipside of a someone who is constantly at a concert, except they’re also just angry all the time too.
Fitness/health obsessions, Pilates, dieting, eating like a bird.
Immediately shrivels my dick up. It’s not just because I like chunkier ladies, I also just find the gym rat stuff unattractive entirely.
Only exception is the fat powerlifting girls. They can get it.
Hyper emotional. I can’t control anyone’s emotions nor would I want to, but when someone lets their emotions control them with no signs of improvement, I lose interest.
People (Women in my case as a hetero man) who’ve “done the work”, as in are therapized to the end of oblivion are the biggest green flags that are red to me.
I find that these people tend to call everyone that disagrees with them toxic, or cuts them off of “access” to them etc. Most times, they end up being the most fragile, self absorbed people with zero accountability and zero problem solving skills, yet society (read online: TikTok/Instagram etc) consider them enlightened, mature and trying to better themselves. It’s the worst.
Being super close with their Mom 🤣 I’m dating a man with low key Mommy issues and I vastly prefer it over my ex that I repeatedly had to address the issue of him whining to her about me bc she raised him to be helpless and weaponize incompetence.
Unattainably high standards. Like to the point that the one tiny reddish-tinged flag you got means more to her than all the large bright-green flags you bring with you… It’s good and right to have standards, but nobody is perfect and a little empathy goes a long way.
Being active on off days.
Not necessarily going to the gym or something (which you can do on your own “on” days), but having to have every weekend of every month planned out with activities. I’m drained just writing it out.
You get caught up in trying to plan something with her every weekend, which is hard to do when there’s only so much to do, throw in a wild card of her not liking to go out to eat at restaurants, or listen to live music, or crowded places, which the wild card switches up every other weekend. Then if you’ve had a terrible week and just want to stay at home and watch tv or play a game or relax, you’re a lazy bum who never wants to do anything.
Being active on all of their off days.
Not necessarily going to the gym or something (which you can do on your own “on” days), but having to have every weekend of every month planned out with activities. I’m drained just writing it out.
You get caught up in trying to plan something with her every weekend, which is hard to do when there’s only so much to do, throw in a wild card of her not liking to go out to eat at restaurants, or listen to live music, or crowded places, which the wild card switches up every other weekend. Then if you’ve had a terrible week and just want to stay at home and watch tv or play a game or relax, you’re a lazy bum who never wants to do anything.
Having too many friends. I obviously want her to have a good social life but I like more introverted and calmer women personally!
Too nice.
Too agreeable.
Too happy.
I’ve got a history and I’m a little jaded, want to be able to relate to my partner on that. And I value truth. The truth isn’t always happy, the truth is that we aren’t always gonna agree.
Honestly, anything that’s not toxic. I got issues.
When she has too much in common with me. I dont want all my hobbies to be her hobbies too, sometimes I want things to be just for me
These are red flags guys
Stability, apparently
Too much spontaneity. I think it’s good to be flexible and add some “spice” into your life to escape the mundane but to me, if you expect me to have enough imagination to plan up a roadtrip every weekend I’m out.
Neat freak
I know this is a very unpopular opinion, but asking for permission to kiss me (or some other intimate interaction). I absolutely hate it and find it a huge turn-off.
I’ve got two: traveling and shopping.
I know two women who are both into traveling; one is also a passionate deal-finder. I love road trips and camping but I don’t want to go back to Europe–it’s cool that they do, it’s just not for me. Hunting for bargains on high-quality merchandise is also a great trait but I don’t want to get involved in that kind of thing.
31 comments
Volunteering in little projects around town to save the world. I respect that and I have a couple of not that close friends that are big into such things and I love them for that. Maybe everyone should do that. But I just know instantly that we won’t vibe all that much with each other.
The super-feminine, flowery dress, sourdough-baking thing ain’t it.
Give me some tattoos. Give me some curse words. Give me a girl that smokes when she drinks.
Fuck bread. Let’s actually have some fun.
Women whose primary identity is being a mother/parent. Green flag because being a good parent to your kids is important. But I don’t want kids, don’t want a lifestyle that is particularly child friendly, and I don’t want to be mothered.
Caring too much about social justice.
A desire for all or nothing commitment. Most people seem to be looking for someone to be their everything but I’ve found that seems to be too needy for me and I just shut down when someone wants something from me I can’t give them.
I really don’t like women whose whole personality revolves around their boyfriend. I admire someone who is passionate about anything in general. something that makes her eyes shine brighter than her smile, something she can talk about for hours.
guys that want kids, im sure thats great and all, but I do not want them and do not want to be with a person that does.
are they really “green” flags if lots of men find them unattractive?
is the flag color just virtue signalling?
They don’t drink alcohol
Friends with their exs.
Went away knowing she was going out with a “friend” while I was away. “Cool, have fun!”. That night she texts me saying “***He***(!) brought up some history we had, but I shut it down because I love you.”
“Um, ok… Why are you seeing exs?”
“He’s not an ex, we just have history. God it’s sexy when you are protective.”
“Umm… not for *me*, love. Feels pretty shit tbh.”
You like me back and want to care for me?
You must have low standards and no self respect
Being fiercely independent. The kind of woman who puts “I don’t need a boyfriend, I want one “on her dating profile. I think it’s a good thing to have your life together and be happy as a single person. But if we’re going to be together, I can’t feel utterly disposable.
Acting like a submissive tradwife. Maybe I watched Stepford Wives way too early in life but that kinda shit always creeps me out.
Caring about like, every cause or social issue.
Having a few big ones is good, we should all strive to make the world a better place in our own way, fight your fight and all that. BUT if all you do is care about every single sob story, then you just spend all your time upset about everything and you’re never happy.
I have known several people like this, and they literally don’t have a social life outside of rallies and protests. It feels like the flipside of a someone who is constantly at a concert, except they’re also just angry all the time too.
Fitness/health obsessions, Pilates, dieting, eating like a bird.
Immediately shrivels my dick up. It’s not just because I like chunkier ladies, I also just find the gym rat stuff unattractive entirely.
Only exception is the fat powerlifting girls. They can get it.
Hyper emotional. I can’t control anyone’s emotions nor would I want to, but when someone lets their emotions control them with no signs of improvement, I lose interest.
People (Women in my case as a hetero man) who’ve “done the work”, as in are therapized to the end of oblivion are the biggest green flags that are red to me.
I find that these people tend to call everyone that disagrees with them toxic, or cuts them off of “access” to them etc. Most times, they end up being the most fragile, self absorbed people with zero accountability and zero problem solving skills, yet society (read online: TikTok/Instagram etc) consider them enlightened, mature and trying to better themselves. It’s the worst.
Being super close with their Mom 🤣 I’m dating a man with low key Mommy issues and I vastly prefer it over my ex that I repeatedly had to address the issue of him whining to her about me bc she raised him to be helpless and weaponize incompetence.
Unattainably high standards. Like to the point that the one tiny reddish-tinged flag you got means more to her than all the large bright-green flags you bring with you… It’s good and right to have standards, but nobody is perfect and a little empathy goes a long way.
Being active on off days.
Not necessarily going to the gym or something (which you can do on your own “on” days), but having to have every weekend of every month planned out with activities. I’m drained just writing it out.
You get caught up in trying to plan something with her every weekend, which is hard to do when there’s only so much to do, throw in a wild card of her not liking to go out to eat at restaurants, or listen to live music, or crowded places, which the wild card switches up every other weekend. Then if you’ve had a terrible week and just want to stay at home and watch tv or play a game or relax, you’re a lazy bum who never wants to do anything.
Being active on all of their off days.
Not necessarily going to the gym or something (which you can do on your own “on” days), but having to have every weekend of every month planned out with activities. I’m drained just writing it out.
You get caught up in trying to plan something with her every weekend, which is hard to do when there’s only so much to do, throw in a wild card of her not liking to go out to eat at restaurants, or listen to live music, or crowded places, which the wild card switches up every other weekend. Then if you’ve had a terrible week and just want to stay at home and watch tv or play a game or relax, you’re a lazy bum who never wants to do anything.
Having too many friends. I obviously want her to have a good social life but I like more introverted and calmer women personally!
Too nice.
Too agreeable.
Too happy.
I’ve got a history and I’m a little jaded, want to be able to relate to my partner on that. And I value truth. The truth isn’t always happy, the truth is that we aren’t always gonna agree.
Honestly, anything that’s not toxic. I got issues.
When she has too much in common with me. I dont want all my hobbies to be her hobbies too, sometimes I want things to be just for me
These are red flags guys
Stability, apparently
Too much spontaneity. I think it’s good to be flexible and add some “spice” into your life to escape the mundane but to me, if you expect me to have enough imagination to plan up a roadtrip every weekend I’m out.
Neat freak
I know this is a very unpopular opinion, but asking for permission to kiss me (or some other intimate interaction). I absolutely hate it and find it a huge turn-off.
I’ve got two: traveling and shopping.
I know two women who are both into traveling; one is also a passionate deal-finder. I love road trips and camping but I don’t want to go back to Europe–it’s cool that they do, it’s just not for me. Hunting for bargains on high-quality merchandise is also a great trait but I don’t want to get involved in that kind of thing.