We've been together 3.5 years and live an hour apart. Before we met he'd been in an unhappy relationship. It took him 5 years to leave and therefore he decided he wanted 5 years in the place he lives now before he'll feel happy that he's had enough time to enjoy his own space. He also thinks he's on the spectrum which doesn't help, and he probably is. But we've always said 5 years and we'll make the move. I always thought this meant wether it's into his home or one we buy together. I was wrong. He doesn't ever want me to live in that house with him, he wants a fresh start with a mortage together after 5 years which also means in the interim I'll have to sell my flat and rent somewhere to be ready for when he is.
I'm devastated because this isn't 5 years is it? It's 5 years and anything that comes after. So it could technically be 6-7 years. We spoke last night and he said we'll look next year (4.5 years in) but I feel heartbroken because before that he was adamant it was going to be after the 5 years no less. I genuinely feel like we're going through a break up and I'm mot sure why as we finished the night saying we love each other like we always do.
TLDR – Been together 3 years, we live an hour apart form each other, boyfriend said we'll move in together after 5 years, he's then said we'll only start looking after 5 years which has thrown me off. I've called him, got upset and he's changed his mind to we'll look next year which is 4.5 years in – I'm confused upset and worried he's going to flake. He's also probably on the spectrum which doesn't help with him wanting space.