What the title says, I(31M) have been dating my gf(33F) for a year and a half. I'm not proud of it, but I stepped out by having a private chat and exchanging nudes with a camgirl. When my girlfriend found out, she understandably didn't take it well. We talked it out and I came clean about how I don't have a healthy relationship with porn and I need to stop, she said she feels like I cheated on her, which I can't disagree. Looking back, it's wild how in the moment I saw it as more of an entertainment experience and didn't think about it on that level. I feel awful and we agreed to try and work it out and get past this, we have even been attending therapy for the past 3 months. The issue is she has an extremely bad temper that before, I would have to deal with being berated for 30 minutes before, now I'm being yelled at in person and over the phone for hours and sometimes hit. No exaggeration. I just want to know if this is a normal thing that I'm going to have to accept and just learn to deal with because as much as I want to take it all and respect how she feels, but some of the things she says to me and about me tend to go far like she's trying to find ways to hurt me on purpose. I'll admit she is doing a great job at it.
I just want to ask because I am losing sleep from being yelled at over the phone and if I hang up, then she'll call until I pick up and then she's even angrier. If I don't reply fast enough, then I have a blink camera in my room(I rent a room) I gave her access to so she can see what I'm doing when I'm at home (She also has my location and my phone password) that she'll use the microphone and start yelling at me on there. I've had to pull the plug to get 3.5 hours of sleep because she was keeping me up. She'll get mad if I don't talk to her in the morning and when she's over she'll go through my phone and become irate if she sees I replied to anyone or did anything before responding to her first. Hell, if I get up in a rush in the morning and I don't talk to her before leaving the house, she will call me on the way to work and yell at me over the phone. Same thing if I get home from work and don't check in with her. It results in being accused of talking to someone new and threats to tell my mother. It ruins my whole day and I am dropping the ball at work because of it. I also take classes part time and some of the more demanding classes I can't be at her house when she wants me to because I have a project or the class is just demanding. She will be upset and tell me not to come over at all.
I'm sharing this not as a "woe is me" post, but just to illustrate just a modicum of the level of scrutiny I am under since she found out. I know I don't deserve pity, and I caused this. My question is how can I fix it and show her that I really am dedicated and committed to her so she feels comfortable and happy again? Is it possible? When she's happy things are great and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, but now it feels like all this is slowly eroding and ruining everything in my life.
tl;Dr – I was sexting with a cam girl, gf finds out, we agreed to try and work it out, but i am failing to reassure her and we don't seem to be moving forward, help please
[EDIT] Of course contact with the cam girl has been cut off, and I've gotten rid of most social media except for a few. She has access to see my messages when she goes through my phone