TLDR: Have no idea what to do anymore, i’m so worried and am lost. hello everyone, this is my first time posting on here and will probably be my last, but I’m at a complete loss. I’ve tried talking to my other siblings my mom and even reaching out to my sister herself, but nothing seems to be working.
For context, my sister has been dating her now boyfriend for about four years when we first met him he seemed pretty normal and fit in with our loud, joking, small town, country family pretty well. He had a job then, and my sister would still bring him to family occasions and holidays. It was the summer of their first year dating that we noticed he liked to drink… coming from a family where my father is an alcoholic and so is my grandfather. We were pretty familiar with the pattern and caught onto it pretty quickly.
The summer of their first year dating, my other sister needed help driving a jet ski back into a dock because she was not able to at the time so he offered to help, at this time my sister says that he touched her thighs in it uncomfortable and inappropriate way. Long story short, he never apologized, and my sister apologized on his behalf. From that point forward, we have only seen him a handful of times very briefly in the past three years despite them living 3 minutes down the road (that is how we know he is unemployed)
Fast-forward to now, he has had over 10 different jobs in car sales and has not been able to keep one, he talked my sister into leasing a car and she now has three jobs to try and support herself. We suspect he is unemployed again, and my sister is working basically 24 hours a day seven days a week. He posts weird concerning TikTok’s and can tell that he is drunk most of the day and it’s pretty evident that my sister is being financially abused as we have seen him request Apple Pay from her quite frequently. This is gonna sound terrible, but if it gives anyone reading any type of picture, he is the “i will k!ll myself if you leave or break up with me” type of person. The worst part is my sister is such a sensitive kind hearted person and has been promoted at her jobs three times since starting so we know that she should be more than comfortable financially right now.
this doesn’t even begin the list of red flags that he has displayed. I tried texting my sister and letting her know that I was worried, but she told me multiple times that she was okay, I can’t help but feel like she has extreme rose colored glasses on, and I don’t know what to do. It physically hurts me to see that she is so clearly being abused and taken advantage of.
What do i do? how can i help without scaring her away or potentially triggering more abuse?