Hi everyone, I (M, 29) have been with my girlfriend (F, 27) for 6 years, and something happened recently that’s left me really torn.
When my girlfriend is sick or on her period, I’ll admit I’m not the best at being attentive. It’s not that I don’t care, i do but I get wrapped up in work and don’t always think about checking in as much as I should.
A few days ago, she was on her periods, and we ordered food while I was in the middle of a meeting. The delivery was taking forever, so I quickly stepped out to ask if she wanted me to cook something. She said no, just asked me to put rice on so she could make food herself. I did that and went back to my meeting.
Afterward, her tone shifted and she seemed upset. Later, after she’d eaten, I asked if she was mad. She told me she didn’t want to talk, so I respected that and gave her space.
The next morning, I tried again to talk to her. We got into a verbal argument about how I don't how to care for her – where she was mostly screaming and throwing things and I was listening. She got quite furious and slapped me. I was completely stunned. I just left for the office right after, and we haven’t spoken since (it’s been 3 days).
For context: we’ve been living together for 5 years, and I was hoping to marry her soon. But she’s been delaying marriage, saying I’m not “good enough” in different ways — like not keeping up to a certain standard, not showing love the right way, not knowing how to resolve conflict, etc. I’ll admit, those comments have also led me to not put in as much effort sometimes, because I’m not sure where this relationship is headed.
That said, I do love her and think she’s generally good for me. But I also constantly doubt if I’m really good enough for her.
Now I feel stuck. On one hand, I know I could have been more supportive while she wasn’t feeling well. On the other hand, she slapped me and that feels like a line was crossed.
TL;DR: Been with my GF for 6 years, hoping to marry her but she has doubts about me. Recently, when she was sick and upset, she slapped me in a verbal argument. We haven’t spoken in 3 days. Torn between staying and working it out or leaving because of the physical violence.