Hi all.
I’ve been struggling to have sex with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2.5 years now.
I am 21 years old, female, and I feel like my libido should be higher than it is and I don’t know what to do. When we first got together, I was so into it and we had sex CONSTANTLY, like multiple times a day any chance we got, all initiated by me. Now I feel like it’s a chore. He hasn’t changed anything, and he is by no means a selfish or bad partner. He goes down on me for as long as it takes whenever I want and is VERY good at it, never expects anything in return, is very sweet, engages in many of my kinks, etc.
When we first started dating I was working full time 8-5 with weekends off, and I think the switch happened about a year in, when I quit my job to go to university full time.
It’s been getting a lot worse, I am now in my second year, but I switched my degree to something i’m finding much heavier and more difficult (was in biology, now in engineering). I have also gained 20lbs and I can’t seem to get rid of it, which is something causing me incredible distress, and I don’t want to be naked. I’m sure that doesn’t help.
He is never pushy. He says he would still be with me and love me even if we never had sex again, but I don’t think that’s fair to him at all.
I just want to go back to how it was, or at least I don’t want sex to feel like a chore. I WANT to want sex, but I just don’t. I’d rather be doing anything else, like I want to go on a walk or watch tv or do crafts of play games with him instead.
Does anyone have any advice? What can I do?
(before telling me that losing weight would help, please know that I know that and I know how, but I am a binge eater and I am working but struggling to get over that)