I’ve been married for 20+ years. My husband has never truly desired me. He says it’s “not that he doesn’t want me,” but after decades of rejection and excuses, I don’t believe him anymore.
I’ve always been the one chasing, initiating, and begging. He would be fine if we never had sex again. Meanwhile, I know I’m a good partner. I take care of myself, I value intimacy, I believe I’m attractive and desirable — just not to him.
When I bring it up, he says he has “other problems.” Truthfully, our marriage has never been a priority to him. I feel like if I stopped putting in the effort, he wouldn’t even notice.
I love him and I’m not leaving, but I’m starting to resent him. I don’t want to bury my sexuality for the rest of my life. I don’t want to die never having felt wanted by the person I love.
How do I survive a marriage without desire? Can resentment be managed long-term, or does it just eat everything away?