As a newly attractive woman, the looking/attraction grows in frequency.
I have always been flattered when men were attracted to me, but was told not to get too indulged. But I felt that the complete dismissal of importance to attraction was making me miss out on potential connections, so I decided to loosen up.
I kept finding out that men who stared or glanced at me often (for months), who showed interest in me, and even those who pretended they didn't have one, all had a girlfriend already. Some were looking to cheat, some just found me pretty (and didn't think I could see and get my hopes up), and some broke up with their girlfriend in the hope of being with me right afterward (absolute no).
The moment a man with a girlfriend who likes me in some way leaves my life, another appears. I know some people will bring up all these phenomena as to why it's on me that this keeps happening (no, I'm not more attracted to a guy when I find out he's taken and no it doesn't make him more appealing to me), but it just happens and keeps happening.
And older women keep sternly repeating "attention doesn't mean anything" "stop being insecure" "stop feeling flattered", completely ignoring how hard it is on you emotionally to find out the hard way for the first time. I wish more people had compassion for my situation. I'm always implicitly the 'dirty' party in the ordeal, even though I'm literally always unsuspecting.
I'm tired of just being eye candy for guys who happily go back to a woman who looks nothing like me (it makes me feel small, not a jab at the girlfriend), but people are always focussed on whether a man has 'done wrong' or not, not how someone like me (the taboo third party) feel in all of this, even when I tell the story.
I have no fantasies of 'making a man cheat' or 'being the other woman'. I just wish I could stop getting repeated attention from guys who are taken, whether they are assholes to their girlfriends or not.