Yesterday i went to an amusement park with some family, including me sister and her bf. Everyone ended up riding in my car with me. Well when we got there my husband asked if my sisters bf had rode with us, i said yes. He then told me that we were done and blocked me on everything so i couldn't contact him. Its now the next day and he is still refusing any conversation and still has me blocked. Her boyfriend was very obviously there with her for her. My husband chose not to come because work is more important to him than his family that he can't take time off. And like about 2 weeks ago he was just in a car alone with my sister. Just her and him for about 2 hours because she went with him to go pick up a camper and I found out some things that were really disturbing including that. He told her she had pretty eyes. Asked her if she wanted to go get something to eat. And while those things aren't that horrible, he won't even go out to eat with me. I have tried multiple times in the last 6 months and every time I get no even though I offer to pay. I was up all night last night crying and i just dont know how to get through this. It doesn't make sense.
37 comments
He was simply looking for an excuse. Most likely he has already stepped out on you and needed to find a way to put the blame on you. Don’t go back to him. Let him go. You won’t regret it.
I’m sorry but he is clearly not a good husband to you. You should accept things are done and let him divorce if that’s what he wants. If he comes back and tries to make you change your life just because he wants it (like don’t see your sister’s if again) just ask for a divorce yourself. I’m certain there’s a good man for you but it’s not him.
Let him go. Starting over is difficult at first but you’ll learn to love yourself. You’ll even surprise yourself with how independent and strong you actually are. In time, you’ll find someone you truly deserve
He’s cheated on you and he’s looking for an out. Probably has a side chick and he wants to make her his main chic but doesn’t have the balls to tell you
Sometimes I read posts like this and think to myself, how do people actually live like this? Like how do you even have the patience for this man is beyond me.
Like who just refuses to go out to eat with their spouse for 6 months. Let alone the whole you paying for it thing (you’re MARRIED??… why does it matter who pays?…)
He was looking for an excuse. Could be him cheating, could be him checked out, but don’t make a big deal of it. Simply just say yes and moron the relationship by going to therapy and having family support!
Suggestions is to block him. Tell your family about it and tell them to block him as well!! No contact!
He is projecting and thinks everyone else is as nasty as he is.
Four months ago you posted “He can’t stand to hear me talk or be around me… but wonders why I don’t want to be intimate”.
He wants out of the marriage and is using this as his excuse to blame it on you. I know that this hurts and that you want to believe that you can salvage this- but ask yourself this question:
Do you really want to be in a marriage with a man who makes passes at YOUR SISTER and who clearly doesn’t love or value you at all?
You deserve to be with someone who adores you. He is out there somewhere, but you will never meet him as long as you’re attached to the man you are married to. You deserve so much better than this.
It may not feel like it right now, but he is doing you a favor by leaving you. He isn’t leaving over nothing. He is leaving because he doesn’t like you or love you. Take solace in the fact that he isn’t trying to keep you while also not liking or loving you.
Your husband is abusive and your marriage is doomed. You know this already.
What is the history between you and your sisters bf?
It looks like you got lucky. He’s letting you go to find someone worthwhile. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of something you know even when it’s not good for you. Let go and move on. He’s not good for you.
You haven’t done anything wrong. If I had to guess, I would say he’s the one with “cheating on his mind” and he’s projecting on to you. He’s being absolutely ridiculous, by every measure.
The idea that you can’t be in the same car with a bunch of people that includes your sister’s BF, is insane.
He knows this, and that’s why he’s blocking you. He literally cannot make a rational argument to support his ridiculous behavior, so he HAS to avoid talking to you.
The whole thing with him and your sister is bizarre, too. Does he have a history of mental issues?
Get a divorce lawyer. This dude is an ass.
Something else is going on. It’s got nothing to do with your sister’s boyfriend. There is probably someone else and he is trying to find ridiculous excuses to end your marriage. Start investigating and keep digging. Don’t get blindsided, plan ahead immediately
He doing you a huge favor. Get away from this man at all costs.
When my husband started treating me that way it turned out he was talking to and having sex with other women.
You did not do anything wrong here. You’re not wrong for wanting to go to an amusement park or out to dinner. You’re asking for the bare minimum and you get nothing. Consider how you want to live your life going forward
This is not why he’s ending the marriage. He wanted to end the marriage and this was the first reason. If it hadn’t been this it would be because you went at all and he didn’t want you too. Or because you stayed and made him feel guilty for not going.
He ended it because he wanted to he’s just not being honest about it.
Trash took itself out.
Most obvious excuse in the world. Also shouldn’t have to beg to do anything with him.
Is this out of character for him or something normal for him? Have you contacted his mother or family? I would make sure she knew your side, and just confirm he is safe. If it really is the end get your share out of account before he does. Find a good lawyer. Look at phone records who he has been calling. Check account where he has spent money. Buying camper just last week? Was he planning on living in it, and already had exit plan?
He creeps on your sister (and likely others) so he thinks all men do this. It’s the same with cheaters, it’s why they project cheating onto their partners.
Let him be done, you should have been done at the first sign of controlling behavior.
Don’t let him back out. Document everything, communicate in writing when you can, record conversations if you can’t do that. If you are in a one party consent state, then record openly, if they don’t want to be recorded, they can walk away.
File divorce yourself if you have to.
Good riddance. Seems like a terrible human being.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. It does sound like better not than later.
I’m sorry OP but he’s done you a favor and he took out the trash himself! Clearly he’s cheating and idk I’m confused as to why your sister didn’t tell you this convo and 2hr drive in the car…was this all behind your back? Are you sure you can trust nothing happened between them… seems weird he’s upset about you being near HER boyfriend besides that he’s clearly cheating and it’s over (believe me someday you’ll see it as a great thing, he sounds like a dirtbag) but it seems like he either wanted you sis to be his side chick and the jealousy is about her. Just wondering OP, how much do you trust your sister?
How could u tolerate someone to treat you like an option? I can’t imagine
Your husband sounds like he is 14 years old. Unless you have some undisclosed history with your sister’s bf, then your husband is very immature.
I’m not a fan of you trying to make something of your husband’s comments to your sister. You both have some growing up to do. Divorce might be a better option than living with this pettiness.
I find posts like this so bizarre. My sibling’s partners are always immediately put in the sibling bucket whereupon it’s just gross to think of them in the romantic realm of possibility. Who hits on an in law?!? I really hope your sister shut that down hard and then immediately told you. This guy is trash; let him take himself out. I know that doesn’t make it any easier, OP, but you will be better without a person like this in your life. I’m so sorry you’re going through it.
I think he’s cheating on you and he used this lame ass. Excuse to blow everything up and try to make you look bad.
Start doing some digging
Honestly, he sounds incredibly immature and if divorce is his answer, good for you for getting out of there. Fighting for this is worthless. You deserve WAYYYYYY better than this cheap POS. ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻
My ex would get weird like this. I would do something, not even bad, and he would make it a whole thing that started a fight where I was apologizing for nothing.
One time he had borrowed my car, and was 30 minutes late getting me from work so I walked to the store next to ours that was still open so I could wait for him and not be standing outside.
This started an hours long fight where I was accused of cheating on him.
Turns out, he just hated me, and was looking for reasons to break up. He was also cheating on me and projecting. He would flip-flop back-and-forth between hating me, then get upset when we broke up.
When we were together, he resented me because he “lost his freedom” but he would get butthurt when I would try to move on after one of our many breakups.
It’s exhausting being with someone like that, and it is never worth it.
When people break up with you over nothing, it’s because they’re too much of a coward to tell you the real reason. They have to make you the bad guy so that they can look good to everybody else.
It’s a stupid game that’s never worth playing.
There is obviously a ton of information missing. Would like to hear his side of things.
Girl, let him go. There is no need in crying. He sound foolish as hell. Leave him right where tf he want to be at, in a stupid mental game fuckery. He wants to block you, then stay blocked and block his ass too!
How in the whole burning hell is he upset that your sister’s boyfriend rode in the car with you guys to a amusement park? People do this normal stuff all the time!!!. He sounds like a looney tune. And very freaking childish!
You leave! Get on, move on. Make sure the next partner you choose has more mental maturity than a pea!
There must be some further reason- those are such negligible things to separate over..
either he has someone “on the side” and needs to justify his leaving you or else something like a mental deficiency, or maybe something else. If you were a Christian there would be more options to tell.
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Honestly, let him. Don’t feed into it begging him for attention. Go to a lawyer now and get ahead of things, if you can find proof that he’s been cheating it will help you in the process.
You deserve to be loved without manipulation, so don’t waste time on someone who is toxic and has conditions on love.
Nothing to add in terms of advice. But I’m sorry you’re going through this! I hope you get the outcome that honors you!
Who knows. I don’t get people. My wife had a strong christian upbringing (I am not, despite having grown up christian) and always had very specific negative reactions to certain things. But he has been reading the “fantasy smut” for the past year… then I stumble on a BDSM test that was mostly inline with her, but had high a rather high score for voyeurism and at least a “tick” on seeking needs outside of marriage. So… you think you know somebody… and you don’t.