We met in the wild. He walked in to where I was having drinks with friends wearing the shirt of the place that I work. I recognized him and introduced myself. We have a fairly overlapping friend group – I’ve been hearing about him for years – and I just hadn’t met him yet somehow. (For context – I’m 39f, he’s 47m).
A conversation meant to be 10 minutes turned into three hours and we went out a few days later on the best date I’ve had in a long time. We have a really wonderful connection.
My mom has been battling pancreatic cancer for two years. In the past month, she’d been fairly stable, and I’d decided to start dating again in light of not wanting to put my life on cruise control any longer since I have been doing that for so long. I’ve been on a few first dates over the last month, but nothing really materialized.
Fast-forward to the last two days. My mom has been in a bit of a decline, but yesterday I had to call the paramedics because she was unconscious and she slipped into a coma overnight last night.
It’s potentially reversible. It’s a critical 48 hours.
He messaged me tonight and I had to explain what was going on to let him know that I wasn’t ghosting him if I wasn’t responding. He said that he would be here to support me in whatever way I need. The thing is, how does someone you’ve only been out with once support you in such an insanely trying time?
It also got me thinking if it’s fair to bring someone into the grief process that I’ll likely be going through soon. It’s not guaranteed, but even just having someone along for the next 3 to 6 months possible ride of decline and then grief seems like a lot for someone to sign up for – but I think there might be some genuinely real potential with this guy.
The timing of the universe is breaking my heart for more reasons than one.