My boyfriend and I have been living together and dating for almost 3 years, we moved in a month into knowing each other. I made it clear when I met him that I wanted to get married soon after the two year mark. I didn't want to waste too much time if things weren't "right".
Well around the two year mark, he said he was ready, but now he's back tracking. He's telling me I need to change XYZ thing about myself, and that he sees me as a life partner but I need to make changes.
l asked him why he never brought these things up over the last two years and why he said he was ready at the start of the year. He said it was because he thought about things "like an adult" and realized he needs XYZ things to be happy for the next 80 years.
In normal circumstances I probably would have just said okay and made the changes, but over the last two years he's had this habit of comparing me to other women. Like, this woman makes more than you, this woman does XYZ – and I actually made changes to fit what he needs.
But now I feel like there is probably either a woman in his head who he wants to be with and I'm not her, OR that he just wants to waste more of my time.
I told him I don't care about marriage anymore since I don't want to shotgun him down the aisle, and if he wants to just have fun until we find serious partners so be it. But now he's asking me what the point of us dating is if it's not for marriage.
My friends say he's gaslighting me and he doesn't have any intention of a future with me. He just wants to string me along. I'm honestly not sure, someone's gone through something similar and could share some insight.