I’m scared I’m forgetting how to talk.
Let me explain: I haven’t worked in a year (first sick leave, now unemployed), and I feel like not being as “social” as before (I worked in retail for 6 years) has made me lose my ability to speak as well as I used to. I constantly struggle to find my words when I talk. On top of that, I’ve always spoken really fast because I’m afraid people will get bored if I take too long… so I just rush through everything, even if it means I’m not fully understood lol
Also i'm french and I read a lot of stuff in English, which I think might not be helping.
I’m (F) 30 and I moved back in with my mom after leaving my apartment to try living in another city (which turned out to be a mistake). I thought being home would help me “find my voice” again, but instead, I feel like I annoy my mom whenever I talk about things I’m interested in. My older brother too he just seems fed up, so I often hold back from speaking at home.
I still have some friends I can talk to about small, casual things, but with others, whenever I try to share something I find interesting, they quickly brush it off and then start talking over me. It’s really discouraging.
I’m struggling to find a job to get back on track, and it feels like a vicious cycle. All of this makes me not want to talk at all anymore, but I know that’s not the solution.
I still go out and meet people sometimes, but I feel like I’m regressing socially?