I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for a little over a month, though we’ve been sleeping together for about 3 months. Sex is honestly some of the best I’ve had. We’re very physically and mentally in sync, and it just flows naturally.
The challenge is she never really verbalizes anything during or after sex. She doesn’t give much feedback about what she likes, or how she’s feeling afterward. I don’t need a play-by-play, but a little communication would help me know what she likes best and it turns me on a lot to know that. When I ask for feedback she just says "that was really good" or something like that. And it's not like she's not communicating because she doesn't like it. I can tell it's great, she just isn't comfortable putting it into words.
Also, she hasn’t given me oral yet even though I've eaten her out several times. I asked her once in a non-pushy way (made it clear it’s not a dealbreaker at all if she just doesn’t like it, I was just genuinely curious), and she told me she does like it, but didn’t elaborate on why it hasn’t happened. I dropped it because she seemed uncomfortable. If she said she just doesn't like blowjobs and won't do them I'd 100% respect that and not bring it up again. I just want to understand her mind better.
I don’t want to pressure her at all to do or say anything, but I’d like to feel like sex is more reciprocal. The emotional depth that comes from that is something really important to me in a relationship and I know I haven't really communicated that to her because I don't really know how. She's never once initiated sex or even kissing and sometimes I feel like it's just her mindset on men but other times I think she just hasn't opened up fully yet.
My question: How do you encourage a partner to talk more about sex, both in bed and afterward, without making it feel awkward or like pressure?