I’m a 26-year-old man, and I’ve been in a six-year relationship with my partner, a 25-year-old woman. We’ve been great friends since before we got together, and we communicate well. We’ve gotten through some difficult times together, and we’re a pretty good team. I love that about us.
We don’t always see eye to eye, but we’ve always made an effort to find a solution that everyone can get behind. Two years ago, we decided to go to university, and we’re both doing a bachelor’s and master’s. Since we made the move, sexual intimacy has steadily decreased.
We both have jobs, do well in school, and work out a lot, but we’ve been diligent in creating time for each other. We cook together, grab coffee, have friends over, go to concerts, and are overall pretty active. I totally get that after a long day, it’s difficult to get in the mood, and I don’t like being pushy.
I usually try to initiate in a way where I ask if there’s mutual interest, tell her I’ve been thinking about her in that way during the day, or just simply let her know I’m horny. For the past half to three-quarters of a year, we’ve had sex on average once a month, and it’s gotten quite monotonous.
We used to be much more frequent (1-4 times a week), more adventurous, and sometimes very kinky. I’m starting to feel this kind of heartbreaking rejection, and it’s affecting my self-esteem. The thought of initiating gives me anxiety, and I don’t know how to begin this conversation. I miss feeling wanted in an intimate way.
What do you think I should do in this situation?
tl;dr
I’m a 26-year-old man in a six-year relationship with a 25-year-old woman, and I am struggling with decreased sexual intimacy. Despite maintaining a strong friendship and active lifestyle, our sex life has dwindled to once a month, causing me to feel rejected and anxious about initiating intimacy.