Not the typical work hard, save money advice but the real lessons that hit you later.
Maybe it is about relationships, confidence, health, family, or even mistakes that shaped you.
For me, it is understanding that self-discipline is more valuable than raw talent. I used to think skill alone would carry me, but I learned later that consistency and control build real strength.
What do you wish someone told you sooner?
Thank you.
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Take proper care of your teeth. Don’t worry so such people don’t care/notice as much as you think they do. Don’t try too hard to fix things that are broken people come and go.
Edit:sorry that’s 3.Edit2-4: read instructions before doing things
That is also one of the great lessons I am learning, consistency is key.
Another thing for me is not to put my feelings good or bad on a pedestal. They are not clear indications that things are going well or badly. Going through the difficult things in life with discipline and building momentum can feel bad — that’s why so many fail, they feel bad and think something is wrong. Nope.
No one will come to save you except yourself
Self care is important. You can’t help others if you’re not in a good space.
Teeth and skin care should have been a higher priority
What I wish all younger men / kids would understand, is to stop looking up to anyone who tells you what they think it means to be a man. The real ones, are too busy leading their own lives, not thinking about what it means to be a man at all, the real ones lead by example.
Forge your own path, be uniquely you, and knock that out of the ball park.
Indulgence is best in moderation. I like fine food, high end booze and good weed, but I eat healthy 98% of the time, drink less than once a week and smoke once or twice a month. In my 20s I’d just do all of this almost everyday to diminishing returns, the hedonic treadmill being what it is.
For career advice, it’s been my experience that networking is much more important than quality of work or credentials. If you are capable of average level work, being someone people like to be around is the most important factor for advancement. It’s not hard with a small amount of effort. Remember people’s birthdays and families and kids names, being open and available for dinners, work trips and after hours drinks. It’s small things that add up. I’m way overpaid and under qualified for my job in a F500 company just from networking.
When you are going through a hard time in life or suffering. Look for the lesson to be learned in it, instead of being ‘whoa is me’ type person
Your youth is precious, don’t ever waste it.
Take breaks but don’t waste time.
Don’t rush to find someone to build a family with. Take your time to find the right partner.
Especially so if you don’t grow up in a happy and well functioning family. You are unlikely to make the right choice in the beginning.
That all the things that people say about “being a man” are just bullshit. Being a man means being true to yourself and not some ignorant bullshit meant to keep us delivering for others
The older you get, the more lonely you will be, so enjoy it while it last.
It Will NOT get better unless you work your ass off.
People you would never suspect will use you for your talents, skills, or connections. Be very discerning about who you trust, especially with your reputation.
Also, start investing now! Put up $5 or $20 or .75¢, but do it out of every paycheck or business deal you get.
Youth may be wasted on the young,but wisdom is wasted on all. If you fuck up enough,you just gotta live with it.
When I was younger I think I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what masculinity was, at least in the general sense, and how I could be more masculine. I went through the phases of trying to get jacked, act tough, and impress girls by being someone I wasn’t. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that a lot of the time, the core of masculinity is just about owning the things you do, taking healthy risks, and not worrying too much about what others think of you. Be the captain of your own ship, no matter what the ship looks like or where it’s sailing (assuming it’s not like anti-social lol).
For bots it’s gonna be a big ass factory in a lava planet. For squids it’s more or less just a teleporter to a mothership or something
I was the “rescuer” in my family/friend circles for a long time. It drained me mentally, emotionally and financially.
1. Learn when family/friends are taking advantage of you versus if they genuinely need help.
2. Don’t allow other people’s problems become your problems.
3. Don’t help people who aren’t taking the steps to help themselves first.
Forget about trying to turn platonic relationships into romantic ones. Women will keep you tagging along for validation. If you fancy them, go for it. Get to the bottom of the value of that relationship and decide if its for you or not. If not, move on.
Don’t get obsessed over having a gf, money > any gf you may get because retiring in your 40’s feels like heaven
Don’t take advice from people who are not themselves living the life that you want.
Nobody cares. And I mean that in a good way. Even if someone saw you do that embarrassing thing, or saw you completely mess that up, or heard your weird idea; they are too busy in their own head to remember you. They don’t care. You have to be wwwaaaayyyy worse than 99% of people for them to even notice.
So try dancing. Sing karaoke. Take an art class even if you can’t draw. Walk the curb like a 2nd grader. Go ahead and enjoy yourself.
You can’t save everyone but you might be able to save one. So be ready and willing to help people out.
Stand your ground. Not in a Second Amendment way, mind you, but in a “don’t let a pair of googly, lashy eyes convince you of letting go of your convictions and decisions”.
Talk more, get into less -if any- fights. Physical or emotional. If it is not working, work on it. If it still doesn’t work after you gave it your best effort, move on. Life is too short to keep dancing with ugly people, and it will only keep getting shorter.
Sometimes it is better to be alone. But most of the time having a good friend or two around is best.
Be kind. To everybody. The cashier, your boss, the homeless person, the sexy girl and the guy in crutches in the subway. Offer help when help is needed, be humble enough to ask for forgiveness and apologize when required.
Get a dog, or two. They’ll warm your heart when you are sad or lonely.
Passion is what we must go through before we die; but the resurrection is the glorious beginning of eternal life.
the opinion of the others – are totally unimportant
learn from others, including your enemy, when they have a point.
fight for yourself, because no one else will
Sometimes, you’re wrong.
It’s ok for me to be happy. It’s my “job” to provide for and protect my family. But it’s not my job to make them happy at my expense. I want my kids to be good adults, so I need to show them what that is. And it is not just soccer games and doing everything with the kids. And you have to be willing to start young. If they know Daddy has his own life and sometimes is not at home today, that’s ok and they won’t have trouble with it later.
That people do not care about our feelings.
You have to learn to be patient because everything and everyone will test your patience. And it’s good sometimes to compromise but not on your beliefs or morals.
Confidence is literally the most important thing for snagging a romantic partner, male or female.
Honesty is the most important thing for KEEPING one.
the manliest thing you can be is comfortable and confident in your own self. any person who claims “this is what a real man does” doesn’t understand that there are many ways to be a “real man”. Get the pink drink, its fucking delicious. Anyone guy who judges another guy for the way they dress, the things they enjoy, etc is just showing how insecure they really are.
learn to have platonic relationships with women, instead of seeing every woman as a potential partner.
if you have to say you’re a “nice guy” you aren’t, you’re just manipulative and see the world as transactional. Be nice by doing the right thing, not because people are watching or because you expect something in return, but because its the right thing to do. you also don’t have to record yourself to prove that you did a good thing.
Women always expect you to be their situational hero not your own situational lawyer.
Dont take opportunities for granted with anything. You may think you will get them again but in time you learn that you wont
With cologne, LESS is more. Nobody should smell you down the hall or for 5 minutes after you pass them.
You don’t need to be everyones friend
Be a good person.
Learn how to lose in all things. Low stakes like gaming and arguments but also high stakes like getting unfairly fired from your job or someone you love dumping you.
Be mindful of your emotions if you react strongly to losing. When you can take Ls gracefully you will be much more powerful. Even if you are burning up inside, get those emotions under control or at least let that be the perception to onlookers. It will benefit you in ways you can’t imagine
That internal things are much more important than external. I mean career, achievements, etc. have their places, but if a man is disconnected from himself for some reason at the end none of those above matters, because too much is never enough.
Central point in my writing is the importance of inner work and individuation for a man.
A man is his word. So take care what you say and promise.
That it’s about telling the truth. Many will misinterpret this.
Family, friends, finance should be your priority.
The helicopter move is an aphrodisiac.