I’ll start by saying NO I am NOT asexual/aromantic or demisexual/demiromantic. I used to be able to feel these things. But after so many bad experiences I feel like I just can’t. I’m not that old (M20) and I haven’t had much dating experience I’ve just had the some shit luck.
I think my (subconscious) brain is obsessed with not letting these things happen again. But it went to far in that it’s not letting me truly feel drawn to a girl. Not just to the red flags of the type of girls I’ve had bad experiences with.
It doesn’t help that I’m so busy it’s hard to meet women in general (and my major is pretty male dominated as well)
I sometimes wish I could go back to the times when I was younger and more ignorant about dating but I can’t.
No longer have the motivation to select a person and go “I am going to put effort into getting to know this person” anymore. Like when I was younger. Sometimes I’m curious about a person but my brain doesn’t let go any further than that. It doesn’t give me those butterflies anymore. Sometimes I like someone once I get to know them but it’s hard to care to know someone if you don’t feel the motivation to get to know them. (I also have ADHD and I can be very busy which is why this might be harder to me them other people)
On dating apps (which I recently just deleted) I mainly use as a game of “smash or pass” knowing I’m not gonna get a match. Sometimes a girls profile is interesting but that’s rare. But it just feels so dry. I can’t even feel anything for a profile.
Does anybody else feel this way. Does anybody know how to get out of this subconscious mindset?