Typo in title: NOW dating someone else***
Hello!
I (F30) have been friends with a M35 for five years. We get along well, have common interest and positive feelings all around. There was definitely some flirtatious attraction to each other, more so on his end at first, but he never made a move until this past year. I figured we get along great — why not. We went out a bit…not official dates but could tell the dynamic had changed a bit. We kissed, had sex and slept at each other's places. Shortly after I felt like it wasn't a good fit for numerous reasons. It felt "wrong" somehow. Like, trying to be romantic with family and there wasn't romantic feelings so we had a discussion. He took it pretty badly. Including storming out of my apartment without a word, but I understand being disappointed and heartbroken so I choose to overlook it. We went a few weeks without talking to get some space. Slowly he reached out again and we went back to moe friendly conversation. This was in February or March of this year (2025). In July of this year he sort of went radio silent again — when I questioned it he said he believes he was still holding on to hope I would change my mind and wanted more space to solidify that I truly didn't want a relationship with him. Again — I understood and let it go. Told him if he's ever at a point where he'd like to be friendly please reach out but understand if he won't be able to do that.
He eventually reached out and we are back being friendly. He's mentioned noticing another woman in his apartment complex etc. I encourage him to go for it etc. I want to see him happy and dating.
That said, I met someone about a month ago. We are dating slowly but are exclusive. I can potentially see this going towards a more solidified relationship. My friend and I live an hour away so it's not like he will organically see me out with another guy or something, but I also don't want to say "hey I'm dating someone". How do I handle this? I don't want to hide it but also don't want to "rub it across his face", but it will come forward eventually.
Hopefully this all makes sense. I'm just trying to lessen the hurt and do it the best way even though I know it will probably bring up feelings for him.
Prior to meeting the current guy I'm dating, I wasn't really going out so it wasn't like in passing I said "oh I am headed out on a date tonight" etc to my friend. But maybe that's the best way?
Any advice? Thanks
Tldr: I (F30) and my (M35) friend previously had sex and he had some strong feelings for me that I ended up not sharing. Things got awkward. I ended the dynamic. I'm now seeing someone else and want to figure out the best way to make them aware without hurting them unnecessarily.