My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) have been together for 3 years, since senior year of high school.
TL;DR: Been with my bf 3 years, overall healthy relationship but my past drinking + controlling habits damaged trust. He admitted he doubted us last semester and considered breaking up. We’re working on things now and just had a great visit, but I’m stuck wondering if he’s really in this or if I’m being naive.
We’ve always had a really healthy relationship: no yelling, no name-calling, and we work through issues calmly. It’s always felt like a deep friendship at the core.
We did 2 years long-distance, but during that time my drinking became a problem. I ended up in the hospital more than once, made promises to quit that I didn’t keep, and caused him a lot of stress. On top of that, I was insecure and unknowingly controlling, keeping him from his friends.
When I came home for a semester we spent all our time together and things were mostly great, but something felt off. I found out he was watching porn after promising not to, and in the argument that followed he admitted he had been questioning if he committed too early. He even debated breaking up last semester because I had become such a stress.
We agreed to try instead of ending things. I’ve been working hard on my drinking and controlling habits, and we just saw each other again the visit went really well and felt like old times. But I can’t shake the fact that he doubted us for months.
So here’s my question: does this sound like he truly wants to work on things and loves me, or am I being naive for staying when he’s already had one foot out the door?