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I’ve been texting with a guy from a dating app for a couple of weeks–we haven’t met yet due to travel and scheduling conflicts. In the middle of texting last night, he cold called me. I was pretty thrown off by the cold call and was exhausted from running 20 miles that morning.
We chit-chatted about our weekends and he’s an extremely interesting, vibrant person. He had a very full, fun weekend. When he asked about mine, all I could think in the moment was that I got a new phone and mention my 20 mile run for marathon training. It’s not just the content of our conversation, but my demeanor in general was extremely awkward (stumbling over words, dead air, etc.). One of those conversations that you replay in your head and cringe when trying to fall asleep.
He hasn’t texted since (not unusual tbf), but I have an overwhelming feeling that I cocked it up. Would it be uncool or insecure to text something like, “Hey, hope [work thing] went well today! I was wiped last night. My legs are still sore, but my brain’s finally back online.” Or should I just let it ride out? Have you ever recovered from an awkward pre-date call or first date meet?
Gf’s lease (alone in 1br) ends in March. My lease (with a roommate in a 2br/2.5ba) ends in August.
We are both 30. She will end up moving to my area.
Best for me is just having her move in whenever she wants and then in August we find a place together. She doesnt like the idea of moving in when I have a roommate, which is understandable.
My thought is she goes month to month from March-June, we move in together in June, and i double pay my rent in June and July. She seemed ok, but we still arent fully decided. What do people think of that idea? Just curious.
Ex dumped me two weeks ago and I’m not feeling any better. I feel so betrayed by him (the way he did it was very cruel and cold) and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to heal from this. I keep having dreams where this never happened and he’s looking at me with loving eyes, and I just keep wishing this was all a dream.
Im trying to break some of my old patterns. I described my story in yesterday’s post, but in shortcut, my 3 years long relationship ended in the end of May, then was seeing someone for 6 weeks, and I ended that almost 2 weeks ago due to some reasons. I really liked that guy. Normally I would jump to dating apps to fill up that hole, but now I am just waiting to deal with that internally. I want to feel like there is no one who takes space in my head before I go back to dating.
How long does it take you to get over someone you liked and dated for 1-2 months, but things didn’t go as well as you wanted to?
Am I asking too much to find a spouse/life partner who is emotionally available, no major red flags, doesn’t have or want kids and prefers being indoors than being very outdoorsy and active?
For me, I have an incurable lifelong condition and I can’t work because of it but I do receive financial assistance (though sometimes I get denied it), I usually have to use an electric wheelchair outdoors (but I can’t lift it by myself) but I can do light cleaning duties, easy cooking (examples) and some days are better than others for what I can/can’t do, I’m also likely autistic/adhd. I feel what I want because of my health/finances is unobtainable. I’ve been using Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble and Hinge.
Feel free to ask further questions, I just didn’t want this to become an essay 😅
Went on a second date last night and it went really well!! He’s asked me out for a third date too. 😆 We get along well and so far seem very compatible with each other. He’s sweet, respectful and has a lot of qualities I’m looking for.
A friend of mine called me as I was on my way home from the date to tell me he’s been interested in me for a while and wanted to be sure before he told me.
I’m not sure what to do or if I want to try to pursue anything. If he had told me this even two weeks ago, I would have been excited but now idk….
I had a brief internet “fling” which basically imploded because his friend said something shitty about me, and he didn’t defend me. When I told him how I felt he was like “I’m not gonna waste my time defending myself” and blocked me. I was hurt admittedly, but then again I remember that I’m hot and he’s not and he should be grateful I even entertained his BS for this long.
Anywho, met a new guy like.. a month ago at this point? He’s a bit shorter than I’d like but he’s a cutie and his eyes actually sparkle, it really is the cutest thing. BUT I feel like this may turn out to be a FWB situation, mostly because he has a lot of “baggage” and he’s broke. I always feel bad for saying “baggage” because at this age, we are ALL gonna have our shit, but his stuff seems heavy and when he talks about it I dont know what to say. He has cancelled a couple times already because of said issues and doesn’t reschedule, yet we talk daily about nonsense. I’m over it, but since I mentally already put him in the friendzone that’s why I still talk to him. idk man
One month post breakup and I’m apparently through the crying all the time phase and entering what I hope to be the glow-up/new chapter phase. Something I’ve dreamed about for years is relocating to Edinburgh, and I’ve finally decided I’m going to bite the bullet and do it in the next twelve months. It’s nice to have such a big, scary, exciting change on the horizon.
I’m still struggling 3 months after a 3-year long relationship ended. We’re both women, I ended it because I could tell that she just wasn’t as invested and committed as I was, and although she was sad, she was very quickly “okay” with the decision and it left me feeling like I had imagined everything. She said she was never really ready for a relationship, and it’s nothing to do with me, but her feelings for me were very real until they weren’t (which was shortly after I ended it).
I know the relationship wasn’t right for me, I wasn’t getting what I want or deserve out of a relationship that’s been going on that long, but I still can’t shake the feeling of wanting her to work on herself, me on myself, and for us to find each other again.
I know that doesn’t need to be my focus, and she doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with me, but I just can’t get rid of that bit of hope, and all I want is to move on. Any advice?
I’ve been trying to focus on myself, my friends, my job, exercise, eating right… It just all feels a bit superficial sometimes.
I’m getting to know someone and it’s early days like 4th date in. We watched a movie and it was at his place. We spent the night but we didn’t do anything besides kissing and then sleep. I think it surprised me how we had many things in common. We are both quite practical. He took out his powerbank and lo and behold, it was the same brand as mine. We spoke about how we came to the conclusion of it after spending time reviewing other brands in the market. Similar train of thought. Even his cooking pot (no, not a standard brand here). He designed some stuff and they were the kind of things that I would have chosen for myself too. It’s a little disarming. I find myself feeling stumped. Like, the way he thinks is rather similar to mine. We both like to do little surprises for each other. A little roast here and there when we talk. He’s more patient than I am, so there are some differences as well but the things I know and see, we are rather aligned.
I hate to say it, but it feels rather disarming and I know I am feeling that little fear growing inside me. It feels so dumb, like I am looking into a mirror sometimes. I respect his competence and I am attracted to his mental capacity. We can keep up with each other. It’s so easy like that. But at the same time, I’m also very aware of how we might annoy each other. The buttons that we can push.
I realise that sometimes I am prone to self-sabotage and building walls when it comes to emotions. I’m actively working on that bit of myself constantly. At least I am aware of that fearful-avoidant tendencies. He seems reliable and kind from what I see. I think because he seems like such a good potential, it makes me feel a little afraid. And yesterday, seeing how much he organised his place, how he approaches some things about his life, some of his routines, from the way he decorates and places his speaker, it all felt so familiar…
I told myself that it could all be coincidence. It is whatever. But at the same time, I also know that this thing isn’t the usual thing that I encounter. I know I need to just trust the process and go with the flow. I need to just allow myself to be vulnerable instead of putting my guards up and mask myself. It won’t be fair for anyone and I deserve to be seen just the way I am, not by what society or norms have asked me to be like.
It’s really disarming. I think I’m just going to have one good cry and hope I didn’t scare him off by how shocked I was. I was feeling a little spooked out this morning. I didn’t mean to be like this. But if he’s spooked out by how I was just spooked out too, then I’d understand too. I just didn’t mean for it to be this close to home. It’s like staring into my own soul and I wasn’t ready to face that, maybe. It was all new to me.