I (30F) was having a discussion with my husband (28M) and he was saying how he would never imagine needing to “support” his male friends emotionally. I’m obviously not a man and would never claim any authority or knowledge on ideal male friendships, but I am often around nerdy communities of primarily men and find radically varying opinions on the matter.
I’ve been around primarily male friend groups that do try to support each other emotionally. It’s not exactly the same as a female groups, but it seems to suffice the needs of those individuals enough. But I also find that it varies group to group – some guy groups never talk about their emotions and exclusively turn to women for that kind of support. Some seem to be quite willing and open to talk about their difficult struggles.
I gave a bit of gentle pushback to my husband, asking him, “If you would never give them any emotional support, is it possible that you’re just signaling to them that you’re unwilling to be supportive and they’ve learned not to trust you?”
He seemed to be actually unsure, but his answer was “I’d be very surprised if that were the case, because I don’t even know what emotional support would look like. I’ve never desired that.”
So, men over 30, I’d like to hear from you. Do you find emotional support from male friend groups? Is that something you even feel a need for? If you don’t have that support from a male friend group, where do you go for support, if anywhere?