My ex, he was just so horrible to me. Emotionally and was very manipulative in getting me to do things i didn't want to. This had been about 3 years ago.
We had an apartment together and he had his name on the lease but not mine and would use this, loom it over my head and try to kick me out so i'd do "things" for him. He'd always raise hell at me if things weren't going his way, his way or no way. Just horrible stuff like that. He really put me through hell.
So i just decided i'd never date again but after a few years, i met someone who's good and treats me really well. Our relationship has been great.
In regards to my current relationship, someone being physically affectionate with me just makes me want to shut down. I can't even handle a kiss on the cheek without getting swamped with bad memories.
So we've kept things chaste.
I don't know how to either work through my trauma and start to be more open to doing that stuff with him. But i also don't want to lose him and i worry i'm being a bad girlfriend.